Amnesia
by Narkness
Summary: Law, and condemnation. Perfection, and imperfection. Height, daring, and the fall. Sometimes it's better if we forget. I x S
1. Anything?

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_**Part One: **_

_**Numb.**_

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_Life is like a sunset, that beautiful radiant burst of life before fading into the stunning wonderment of night as the stars look down. _

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_Amnesia_

_Chapter One: Anything? _

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Retrograde amnesia.

_Memory loss related to events that occurred before damage to the brain. Patients are unable to retrieve long-term memory of events and information learned prior to the brain trauma._

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My head pounded, the light from the fluorescent lamps stung my eyes. There was a horrible tightness in my chest that felt like the entire world was crushing me. Every inch of my being ached in protest, my hands were bound behind my back, my ankles bound together. My mind was clouded with fog; I couldn't fathom where I was, or who I was for that matter; only that sinking feeling of _this is bad. _

My mind was blank and a knot of terror was forming in my stomach.

"You're awake, kunoichi?" Stated the deep gruff voice; which made me futilely attempt to recoil in fear.

_Kunoichi? Is that my name? _

I was yanked into the air by the back of my clothes. An unknown hand pushed my chin up. I almost screamed at the grotesque sight. The man's skin had a ghastly mottled blue hue, amber predator's eyes and gill like slits on each side of his neck. Strapped around his forehead was a metal plated headband with a foreign engraving.

_Who is this man? _What_ is this man?!_

"Not so strong without your chakra, eh?"

_Chakra? What the hell is that? _

Before I could speak the man threw me, with inhuman force, to the other side of the room, my body connecting with a wall of brick.

"Why don't you stand up for yourself?" mocked the man, whom chuckled at his joke. I yelped as he dealt a swift kick to my ribs. I couldn't breathe, I gasped helplessly for air.

_I'm so dead…_

"Kisame!" An angry voice bellowed through the brick walled room. "What do you think your doing?!"

"I was just having some – "

"Fun? Not with her! Get out now, fool!"

The area seemed to shake as the shark man strode out of the room, leaving behind a putrid stench.

I felt gentle hands tug at my bindings, and then roll me onto my back. Blazing red and black eyes stared down at me. This man too wore a metal headband but with a different engraving, but still had a huge strike through it. The man had almost feminine looking eyes as he had extended eyelashes that curled skywards. But that by no means lessened his intimidating presence; he glared at me like he could see into the recess of my soul.

A long fingered hand curled around the back of my head, I flinched in pain. He let go.

"As I thought." He whispered.

"Wha- "

"I need you to stay perfectly still." It was more of an order than a request. The tone of his voice told me to obey or otherwise. I watched as he examined my hands, then my arms. He then slowly tested my ribs for damage. He did the same for my legs and feet. I flinched or whimpered each time he touched a bruise, which I seemed to have masses of. However it was frightening when his fingers lingered on my stomach, but he continued as nothing had happened.

"A possible fracture in the left lower rib, excessive head trauma, possible broken ankle and mass bruising." The man recited to no one in particular. He smirked at me. "I recommend bed rest."

"Who –"

"You may call me sir, now sleep." He blinked and revealed red eyes. They began to spin.

_He's trying to hypnotise me! _

I snapped shut my eyes instantly.

"Open your eyes." It wasn't a question, it was an order. Slowly and hesitantly I cracked open an eye and then the other. "Look at me."

With a single glance his eyes made me feel faint, my vision was tunnelling, noises were numbed.

But then again, _sleep would be nice…_

**--**

I was suddenly woken by a raised voice. I realized instantly I was not in the same basement, but in an ordinary looking bedroom, and groaned as I remembered the previous events. _A weird shark monster and a hypnotist. _

"Was it necessary for you to hit her?" _the voice was deadly calm._

"She wouldn't stop screaming, besides she was still being controlled by - " _this voice was rushed and nervous._

"I don't care! She has no use to us now!"

"Just kill her." _This voice struck fear in my heart._

"I can't kill her, she's…- she's awake. Stay out here, oaf, I'll talk to her."

I slunk back into the bed sheets, it hurt to move. _That man must have moved me while I was unconscious._ My head throbbed, as did my left wrist, but I could see nothing visibly wrong with it.

"You're still alive, interesting..." The man that had checked me for wounds spoke, appearing at the doorway. Only this time he wore a huge black cloak with red cloud detailing. I made an effort to try to yank the comforter up; it would be nice to die warm. I was too weak to run or fight.

"Whe-"

"Don't speak." He snapped, eyes flaring seriously. "I have some questions first." He linked his hands behind his back, striding across the room calmly as if we were simply friends sitting at home. "What is your name?"

"I don't know."

"Where are you from?"

"I don't know."

"What is your status?"

"Wha-"

"Your rank?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Shame, I didn't want to kill you." With lightning speed he had pressed a long knife to my throat and straddled my knees, his spare hand grasping my wrists.

"NO! Don't kill me, please."

"Why not? You're worthless to me now." He pressed the knife harder; I felt warm blood trickle down my neck.

"I'll do anything. Just please… don't kill me."

"Anything?" He repeated, his eyes flaring with amusement.

I gulped and saved, yet ruined my life with a single word. "Yes…."

He placed a hand over my eyes. "Goodnight love." He whispered in my ear, breath ghosting my outer ear. Again, blackness overtook me. And that sinking feeling came that he had set me up for that response…

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**A/N: **Chapter revised 23/02/08

Much love,

Narky.


	2. Nightmares And Dark Figures

**Narkness: **Gosh I am so sick of GaaSaku fics. Oh and since last chapter I dyed my hair purple! Seriously!

**Voices: **Ahem…

**Narkness**: That's right I'm supposed to be writing things… Please don't write what you think might happen in the story in the review, some other people may not be smart enough to figure it out themselves and you may ruin the story.

And no the Akatsuki do not want to use her as a medic nin, so be quiet Mr. Anonymous Reviewer person! Or I'll hunt you down! Or somehow bombard you with chain mail! TORMENT!

**Voices: **AHEM!

**Narkness: **Yeah right, carrying on

(Insert super awesome sexy…. Who am I kidding?) (Insert disclaimer here…)

**Warning may contain: **Rambling and Harry Potter…or not. Okay, no Harry Potter. Just lettuce. Or not…..SPIDERMAN!

Ahem…! Alright may contain disturbingness.

* * *

I lay sleepless by the soft glowing campfire, listening to the rasping snores of the shark man that slept in the canvas tent. Every time I slept, without the aid of the nameless man, I was plagued by horrid dreams, the same one. I wanted nothing more than to have a warm bed, a safe dreamless sleep, a bath and perhaps my memories back. Across the campfire the nameless man cleaned a katana with a blue rag. 

The cool air was an addition to the blanket of night that surrounded us.

"Sir…" I hesitated; over the past three days of travel he had been rather snappy and quick to anger.

"Yes?" He didn't even look up from the sword.

"Could I please have a blanket –"

"If you want one, go ask Kisame."

I shook my head, the shark man was someone to fear. His sadistic actions towards a man we had met during the day made me think I should fear him more.

We sat in silence for many a minute. He went back to cleaning his katana, I examined my left wrist which seemed to have two twin lumps under the skin.

"Sir…"

"What?!" he snapped, red eyes glaring at me.

"I have to…use the toilet." I chose my words carefully, apparent to the fact that there were no toilets.

"Just go behind those trees over there, don't wander away."

I sighed and stood, walking cautiously through the blackness. Scattered clouds uncovered the moon, paving me an illuminated way through the trees. I didn't like being alone, even those strange men had provided me with a small amount of safety.

I finished my business quickly, worried that something was going to grab me at any moment.

But as I turned back toward the camp several dark figures loomed out of the night. I screamed in terror, convulisvly clutching a hand over my heart. I turned to run but tripped on the littered tree roots and tumbled down into the grass, skinning the heels of my hands as I fell.

A tall dark figure bent over, reaching out a hand.

"Get away from me!" I hissed, trying to scramble out of his reach on my hands and buttocks. The figure leaned back and turned to call out.

"Sasori, come check this out, yeah."

"This better be interesting." Another dark figure loomed up close.

"She's pretty, yeah."

I held my breath, ready to scream. The clouds thinned over the moon and I caught a glimpse of one of the men. He looked in his early twenties, short dark red hair with amber eyes. He too wore a cloak just like the strange men.

"You can't have her." The red haired man said softly.

"Why not?"

"Look." The red man snatched my left wrist, holding it out. He pushed a finger down on the two raised lumps making me flinch in pain. "She belongs to Itachi." He looked down at me, keeping a tight hold on my wrist. "Where is your master?"

"I don't –"

The man raised his hand to strike me.

"Don't hit her Sasori." Snapped a familiar voice, a long hand rested on my shoulder. "It would be unwise." The man dropped my wrist in an instant

"Itachi, we –"

"Shutup Deidara!" The red haired man snapped to the blonde.

"_We _must talk." The nameless man had a name, Itachi. It sounded familiar to me, but I could still grasp nothing in my clouded mind. Itachi grasped my hand and pulled me to stand. "Go wake Kisame and then you may rest in the tent."

I did as he said.

* * *

_I stood in a great arena, it was bare, save for several hundred people who stood in a circle around it's edges. Their faces were blurry, indistinct, their presence unimportant except as witnesses to the tragedy about to unfold. _

_I was held back by the strong arms of an unfamiliar blonde man, although I strained against his arms, reaching into the circle, he was too strong. I was crying, terrified by the sight infront of me. _

_Images began to flicker. _

_An onyx eyed man stepped into the circle. Two men circling, katanas drawn, faces twisted into masks of snarling hatred. Itachi and the onyx eyed man. Both bleeding, stumbling with weariness. Red, everything red. Red clouds in a black day. Even the silent watchers were clothed in a veil of red. The heat. The heat! I flinched as a giant fireball consumed the arena. Two men fighting. Screams as fire lit up the town. A katana, notched with use. A scream, mine. "NO!" _

_Itachi lunged at the man, forcing him to one knee. Screams of terror. Blood. Blood everywhere. The man on his knees, katana flying out of his hand, sliding uselessly across the floor. Snakes, the cool sensation of snakes. _

_Where was the man? _

_I twisted away, gagging in horror. He was covered in blood – It dripped from his body, it hung in congealing strands through his raven black hair. He reached out a hand, then a great gout of blood erupted that covered me as well. The putrid smell of burning flesh. Cackles and shouts. Begs of mercy. _

_All the time blood. _

_I could feel it, smell it, _taste _it. _

_Driven to madness by the feel of warm blood all over me, I began to scream. _

I sat bolt upright in the tent, still terrified. I had never seen the men's faces before in _this_ dream.

The voices outside were hushed. The beginings of sunlight played through the tent.

"I'll be back." Said a voice.

I leaned forward, bringing my knees up, trying to force the horrid dream away.

Itachi poked his head through the tent flap. "Another nightmare? We need quiet right now."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Very well, it's dawn, time to get up."

I could smell burning meat; it repulsed me after the dream. I walked out of the tent, looking at the mass of black cloaked men sitting around the fire.

They all looked somehow familiar to me.

Somehow…

* * *

**Narkness**: R&R or else! I was going to do another chappy for 'Breathe' today, but I have to go to the movies. that stupid 'Golden Compass' movie. 

Remember R&R.

Please be patient with updates for 'Breathe'.

OHHH! and I came up with yet another story idea. But I'm not going to tell you yet.

**Clue two for amnesia person**: She lusted over a certain 'onyx eyed' man for quite awhile.

And **don't** write what you think will happen in the review!


	3. Tears And Rain

Amnesia.

Chapter Three: Tears and Rain.

* * *

Rays of sunlight penetrated the thick greenery of the forest where we walked, far off storm clouds brewed. The men in black cloaks that arrived last night walked up front, occasionally the blonde man talking without much response from the redhead. The pair, just like Itachi and Kisame, wore conical straw hats that covered most of their faces.

Occasionally we would stop to break. Occasionally Itachi would murmur something to Kisame. But no one spoke to me, perhaps it had something to do with Itachi shadowing my footsteps like a guard dog. He allowed no one within arms reach.

"Can't we walk faster?" Complained one of the men up the front. "We're never going to get there at this rate."

"Don't be stupid, of course we'll get back in time." The other man chided.

"I want to run."

"We can't, Itachi's little pet is –"

"But we all know she is a nin-"

"Shut up Deidara!" Itachi interjected swiftly. The blonde man turned around, walking backwards, pointing a finger at me. "But she's the one who helped destroy Kono-"

"Shut the fuck up Deidara!" Itachi screeched, making Deidara flinch at the loathing in his words. "Keep your mouth shut. We don't talk about that, ever."

I looked up at Itachi as we continued to walk, only his eyes visible from under the straw hat. _We're they talking about me? What did I do? Why did it make Itachi so mad? _

"Where are we go –"

"Quiet!" He snapped and my left wrist seemed to burn with his fury. I clutched it in pain, trying not to cry out. "Don't speak unless you're spoken too!"

My wrist flared in pain like it was ablaze and being jabbed with needles, it was persistent and seemed to progress up my arm. "Stop…" I managed to whimper. "Please…"

Itachi just looked at me in disgust. "Weakling." My arm was flaring with a red rash, from wrist to elbow. "Take your punishment."

_How was he doing this? _

"Maybe you'll learn to keep quiet."

"I will, I'll be quiet!" I cried for mercy. "Please…"

"Don't speak."

"Itachi, she's really hurting –"

"Shut up Deidara! SHUT UP!"

Each of Itachi's words seemed magnified and echoed in my head like he was screaming them into my ear. I didn't cry out. I didn't speak. Tears of pain and despair rolled down my face. I dropped to my knees, curling up in a ball.

"Cut it out Itachi! She's quiet now." The auburn haired man was now joining Deidara in my mercy.

The shark man said not one word, just smirked down at me, as if he _enjoyed _this. I felt rushes of nausea. I was on all fours, retching, and Itachi bent down, his lips inches from my ear. "Don't speak, unless you're spoken too."

After seconds that seemed almost hours, the pain eased. The nausea stopped, the flaring pain ended. I was left with an arm red and irritated and a huge headache. Itachi yanked me to stand by the back of my shirt.

"Come along." He said almost as if nothing had happened before.

We walked along in complete silence. No noise was made, save for the distant rumble of thunder. Black clouds were slowly blowing over the sky, blocking out the sun. Itachi eventually spoke as we passed a small golden shrine. "There's a town nearby. Our tents won't hold in this storm." The shark man nodded in agreement, hefting the huge sword on his shoulder.

"And maybe you can get your pet a bath, yeah Itachi. She stinks." Kisame managed to mumble.

Kisame rarely spoke, and if he did it was only to Itachi. I rubbed my red arm gingerly, ignoring the last comment. _A bath sounded good.

* * *

_

I sat by the window, clean and dressed in one of Itachi's shirts that he had left me. Rain pelted against the window, thunder rumbling and lightning occasionally lighting up the sky. I could hear the noise from the downstairs bar, people talking, laughing, and yelling.

My arm still flared red with a rash, it was itchy. However my headache had eased. My stomach ached with hunger. I hadn't eaten since early morning; even then I had eaten only bread and poorly preserved dried meat of some unknown animal.

I examined the twin raised lumps on my left wrist. It looked like something had burrowed into my skin, like a bug. Outside people walked the streets, I couldn't make out faces. I opened the window on impulse, letting wind and rain into the room.

"What are you doing?" Itachi questioned, closing the door behind him, his hat in hand. He unbuttoned his cloak, still looking at me in question. "Well?"

"I was just –"

"Close the damn window."

I pulled it shut, locking over the latch. I didn't speak, yes, I was afraid of him. He folded his cloak carefully, placing it on the end of the bed. He moved with sort of a lazy grace, as if it was all effortless and natural. He removed the twin katanas from his belt and placed them beside the bed. "Watching me?"

I hadn't realised I was staring. "Sorry." He sat and pulled off his shoes. "Itachi –"

"You will refer to me as sir."

"Sir…"

"Yes?"

"I'm hungry."

"Can you wait until morning? They've stopped serving food at the bar."

"I…I'll wait."

"Indeed you will." He pulled off his shirt, folding it carefully. "How is your arm?"

"It's fine." I held it behind my back. _Was he going to hurt me again? _

"Let me see it."

"No."

"It's not up for discussion. Come here."

"No."

His eyes flared red. "You will do as I say. Get here now." My wrist began to burn again. "Now." I hesitated before taking cautious steps to his side. "Give me your arm. Let me see it." I held my left arm out slowly, and he grasped it quicker than imaginable, he pushed the sleeve of my shirt up . "You've been scratching it."

"I have not." I couldn't help but stare at his shirtless form, his broad shoulders and well defined pectorals gleaming in the lights and drawing my attention downwards to pale, perfect abs and narrow hips.

"Don't lie." He removed a roll of bandages from a pouch on his belt. "Try to stay still." He began to carefully wrap my arm from wrist to elbow, at times his fingertips seemed to glow blue, and it made my arm tingle at the touch.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." He tucked in the end of the bandage and released my arm.

"You're hands were going all blue. What was that?"

"Don't ask about that." His voice had that same deadly seriousness as he had used earlier in the day. I dropped the issue.

I was interested by the unusual crescent like scars under his eyes. "What happened to you, where'd you get those scar-"

"Enough talk."

"But –"

"I said enough. I am tired." He clutched a hand to his temple, his eyes then turning back to a shade of black.

There was pounding knocks on the door. "Itachi, come back downstairs. There are women who want to meet you." It sounded as if the shark man was inebriated as he slurred his words.

"I'm going to bed Kisame." He replied calmly, even though his face was twisted in discomfort as he removed his headband.

"You sure?"

"Yeah…" Itachi turned to me, still clutching his forehead. "Turn the lights down… please."

_Please? He was being polite… _

"Yes." I moved to the door, turning the knob to dim the lights. When I turned back, Itachi was in bed, the covers pulled up over his head.

_What was wrong with him? _

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Itachi grumbled, his voice muffled by the bed covers. "Stop talking."

"Where do I sleep?"

"Do you always talk this much…?" He snapped.

"I wouldn't know." I whispered quietly. _I don't remember. _

He sighed. "Where do you think you'll be sleeping?"

"In here…"

"Very good." He spoke with an almost teasing tone. "Yes, you will be sharing a bed with me. Is that a problem?"

"I…I…- "

"Because Kisame has volunteered to let you sleep in his room, if it is."

"It's not a problem." I blurted. Earlier Kisame wouldn't stop talking about women and what he'd…like to do to them tonight.

"I thought so." He said with a slight muffled chuckle. "Now, stop talking."

"Itachi –"

"Sir." He corrected.

"Sir," I repeated. "Where are we –"

"I heard you were stubborn…" He trailed off.

"You know who I am?!"

"It's time for sleep." He growled.

"But –"

"Shut the fuck up!" His voice was agitated.

"Are you always this angry?"

"…yes."

"What were those men talking about today?"

"Do all women ask this many questions?"

"How the FUCK SHOULD I KNOW!?" I screamed. _I can't stand this anymore. _"I don't remember anything! IDIOT! –"

The covers on the bed were swiftly thrown back, Itachi right in my face in an instant. "Don't ever talk to me like that." His words were spoken with hatred. My wrist began to prickle with his fury again. Despite his anger, I could see he was in a great amount of pain, his face was contorted in discomfort, his hands shook, and he was sweating.

"You're sick."

"Don't start with names."

"No…" _Idiot… _"I mean you are sick. You're sweating and shaking."

"I'm fine, this happens to me all the time."

"No…" I pressed a hand to his forehead. "You've got a fever." _How the hell do I know that? _"If this happens all the time, you should see a doctor."

"I'm fine!" He snarled, pushing my hand away. Suddenly he grunted and doubled over in pain. "Argh." He clutched his head with both hands and cried out. I helped him to the bed.

For some reason, I wanted to help, and I _knew_ how. My hands glowed blue; I ran my finger tips over his temples, his body relaxed instantly.

_I was…healing him. _

"How are you…- what are you…" Itachi gave me a bewildered look, a look of shock.

"I don' –" I yanked my hands back, they still glowed blue. "What am I doing?"

"Don't stop it." He pulled my hands back to his forehead. "Please."

I did as I did before, ran my fingertips over his temples in a circular motion. He sighed, his eyes drifting closed.

_What am I? _

"Tell me who I am."

"I'm not allowed to disclose that information."

"I'll stop."

"NO!" He blurted.

"What is my name?"

"I can't tell you that."

"What can you tell me?"

"You are from the village of Konoha." _Konoha? _"You are an ANBU from the village of Konoha."

"What is ANBU?"

"Special Assassination and Tactical Squad, a high level ranking group of ninja. You were a team medical ninja."

"What is a ninja?"

"You really do not know?" He sighed heavily. "A ninja is someone trained in arts of war, a variety of methods including assassination, espionage, martial arts and other skills."

"So, I'm a killer…like...-"

"Me? No, I think you might be worse than me." He said almost jokingly.

"What does that mean!?"

"You betrayed your village."

"Liar!" I yelled, taking swift steps away from him.

"I wish I was. You helped Orochimaru."

"I don't even know who that is!"

"Konoha no longer exists. You helped Orochimaru destroy it, because he told you he would bring your precious Sasuke back to life."

_Sasuke!? It sounded so familiar. Yes, Sasuke! The man in my dream…the onyx eyed man. _

"You killed Sasuke!" I screeched, pointing an accusing finger.

"No…" He whispered. "Sasuke killed himself. He gave up."

"NO!"

"Yes."

"Shut up! Shut up!" I screamed. He made movements towards me. "Don't come near me!"

He held his arms out in appeal. "Don't hate me."

"Don't touch me." I scrambled back towards the window. "What do you want?" I couldn't stop the tears now.

"I want your child."

"What?!"

He reached out and patted my belly. "You carry my brother's child." He _smiled, _he fucking smiled. "You're going to help rebuild the Uchiha clan," He leant in close, his lips almost brushing mine. "Sakura."

* * *

**Gasp! Dundun dundundunddnnnnn. **

R&R.

Narkness .


	4. Out Of My Mind

_

* * *

_**Amnesia, Chapter Four : Out Of My Mind. **

_

* * *

_

_Have you ever wanted to curl up and die? _

_Probably. _

_Wished you'd done things different? _

_Yeah. _

_Made a mistake that destroyed a nation? _

_I doubt _you_ have. _

_

* * *

_

"Don't look so shocked." Itachi whispered, glancing from my lips to my eyes and then back again. "My brother was quite determined to get a child on you, a son."

_A baby… _

"You're lying." I choked back tears, thunder rumbling softly outside.

_Please be lying. _

But the memories were flooding back, they told me otherwise.

"_Sakura, I'll only be gone for a day or two." _

"_But…" _

_Sasuke glanced back at me from the bedroom door and said. "You'll be fine without me." _

"_No." I crawled from his bed, hugging to him tightly. "I'll miss you." _

"_I'll miss you too." He kissed me lightly on the forehead. _

_"I love you." I whispered. _

_"Same." He pressed his forehead to mine and kissed my nose. "Be good." _

"He didn't love you, you know?"

"You're LYING!"

"He just wanted to complete his goals. He was fucking that thin blonde girl too."

"Shut up!"

"He knew you would welcome him back with open arms, easy, predictable Sakura."

"I hate you!" I pushed away from him, walking for the door.

"Don't hate me, hate my brother." He grabbed at my shoulder, stopping me from opening the door. "I wouldn't go outside, not dressed like that." He glanced at me. His shirt just covered my thighs. "You're quite desired."

"Let go of me."

"That's not going to happen. You were thinking about running."

The door burst open, a more than drunken Kisame waltzed in, shirtless and sword in hand. "What's going on?"

"Everything is fine Kisame." Itachi put his arm about my waist casually. "We were just having a talk."

"Rather loud, wasn't it thou –"

"Kisame, get back to bed, I don't want you tired tomorrow."

"I won't be the only one tired." Kisame smirked at his own joke and closed the door.

I instantly pushed away from Itachi. "Don't you fucking touch me, ever!"

"Don't talk like that." He sighed and sat down on the bed. "One day you'll be begging me to touch you."

"Don't flatter yourself."

He smirked, emitting a soft chuckle. "You're amusing."

"Really? And you're an asshole."

"I believe I told you not to talk like that. Ladies shouldn't talk like that."

"In case you haven't noticed I'm not going to follow your rules."

"Really? I think you should." My wrist began to prickle again. "I can kill you before you feel it."

"You won't kill me."

"Really?"

"You want my baby, don't you?" _I must be out of my mind. _

"Then I will just kill you once the baby is born."

"But who will look after it? A baby needs its mother."

"Then you will die once the child is old enough not to need you."

"But surely, who then would you look after the child? It would need a mother to take care of them. Who would put it to bed? Who would feed it?"

"You do realize there are many women who would willingly do that for me, _willingly_."

"Then why don't you already have fifty million children, eh? Where are your wives?"

Itachi strode toward me, trapping me against the wall. "Because" I thought he was going to strike me. "None were as pretty as you." He murmured, his breath hot on my face. "Why have an ugly woman bare me children?"

"I thought you were going to kill me."

"Only if you didn't co-operate with me. However, if you're a good girl and listen " He smirked. "You'll be my wife."

"I think I'd rather death."

"Okay." He whispered seriously. Instead of my wrist simply prickling, it felt as though something was ripping apart my skin, traveling excruciatingly slowly up my arm.

"Stop it!" My muscles clenched in pain, I couldn't move. "STOP!"

"You said you wanted to die." He had a look of satisfaction on his face. "I'm merely fulfilling your wishes."

"STOP IT!"

"Use your manners."

"Please stop it." I managed to whimper. The pain slowly subsided, I slumped to the floor, and I felt so numb.

"See using your manners does a world of good."

"You're a monster!" I tried my best not to sound as weak as I felt.

"It doesn't make you any better!"

"Keep it the fuck down; some of us are trying to sleep!" Someone yelled through the door. Within seconds Itachi had thrown open the door, pinning the offending man to the wall of the hallway. I could only watch helplessly from the floor.

"Don't speak to me like that." Itachi spat at the man who hung helplessly in his grip, his feet dangling a few inches in the air. "Do you know who I am?"

"Uchiha Itachi!" The man gasped, recognizing him. Itachi hadn't meant it as a question for answering, more as a threat.

Itachi realized he no longer wore anything to hide his face and had just alerted a stranger to the presence of the Akatsuki. The man dropped to the floor, similar to the way I had moments ago. "Sakura, we're leaving."

"Wha-" Itachi yanked me to stand by my shirt. Before I could bombard him with questions he was dressed and carrying me out of the room, bolting down the hall.

"KISAME!" He yelled, pounding on the hotel room door.

"I'm busy!" Resounded the shark mans voice, giggles of a woman following.

_How Kisame gets women is beyond me… _

"Kisame, we have to leave _now._"

This must have meant something to the shark man as he threw open the door seconds later, he was poorly dressed, and then again so was I. There was no explanation, no talk between the pair.

All I remembered was being carried downstairs, and then Itachi making me look into his suddenly red and black eyes, that drowsy feeling overcoming all my senses.

* * *

I came to a slow realization as I woke up; Itachi had made me fall asleep…again. I was instantly confused. I was lying in a rather large bed; the walls were adorned with murals of great wars, ninjas and lands around the world.

_Okay, definitely not the hotel. _

The bed sheets were the same pattern as the cloaks that they wore.

_Their hideout, perhaps? _

_Where am I? _

As I pushed back the sheets, I was stunned at the freezing air that filled the gap. I swiftly pulled the sheets back up. Outside the window trees were beginning to lose their leaves.

_Autumn. How long have I been asleep? A month? _

I felt fatigued, almost sickly.

_Must be this frickin' cold air. _

There was a soft knock on the door, far too delicate to be a man's knock.

_But it could be Itachi…When I get my hands on that bastard…! _

"Who is it?"

The only answer was the door slowly creeping open. A young girl, no older than ten stood there, a tray of food in her hands.

"Sorry to wake you. Uchiha sir asked me to bring you breakfast, said he wanted you to keep your energy up." She placed a tray on my lap as I sat up.

"Thank you…?"

"Hinari."

_That sounds just like… _

"Miss?" the little girl interrupted my chain of thought. "What do I call you? Uchiha sir didn't give me a name."

_Uchiha sir? Pfft. Arrogant bastard. _

"Sakura, just Sakura." I tried to smile at the little girl, despite the fact she was obviously a servant to a group of murderers.

"Enjoy your food Miss." She did some sort of curtsy.

"Wait." I said as she turned to leave.

"Yes miss?"

"Where…am I?"

_I must sound so stupid asking that. _

"Akatsuki manor." She replied with a sweet childish smile.

_I hope I'm out of my mind. Please be a delusion, please.

* * *

_

**Narkness: Harou! HAPPY NEW YEAR! **

**Ahem...**

**Yes Yes. R&R or die. (Please R&R) **


	5. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

* * *

Amnesia.

Chapter Five: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.

* * *

"When is he going to attack?" Said a voice from behind the door. _Sounds like Kisame…_

_What's going on? _

"Our spies tell us in the next few months."

_Who's attacking!? _

I hadn't gone looking to eavesdrop… I had wanted to find Itachi…_give that asshole a piece of my mind! It sounds like him…_

"Why hasn't he gone after Konohagure?" _The blonde haired man? What was his name…Deidara! _

"Why would he go after ruins?" Snapped a highly feminine voice.

"Calm, Konan." The voice was commanding, a voice of a leader. "We know Orochimaru is building himself an army, an army from the bodies of the people that were killed in the 'Konoha betrayal' a month or so back."

_The people I killed? _

"Orochimaru has kept the souls of those people," there was that woman's voice again. "They must be destroyed before he uses them in a ritual."

_Their souls? _

"Does he have the Kyuubi?"

"No." There was silence, then." Raiu, what is the status on the girl? Is she of any danger?"

"She has a high level of retrograde amnesia from a hit to the head from Kisame. But while interrogating Itachi I believe she may have been told a few things."

"WHAT –" The commanding voice screeched.

"Calm down Pein."

"Fuck that. What does she know? If she starts remembering things she could still have a deal with Orochimaru! She could kill us all if Orochimaru can access her mind!"

_Are they talking about me? _

"I told her who she was." Itachi's voice sounded unexpectedly afraid.

"YOU IDIOT!"

Itachi yelled, but I couldn't focus on that, there was a burning sensation all over my body. Like someone was prodding every inch of me with flaming needles.

"Stop it!"

_Was Itachi doing this to me? _

The door was thrown open, a tall man, his face adorned with piercings, looked down at me. My yells accompanied Itachi's.

"Please, stop it!"

"Itachi, you're a fool." The tall man said, looking back into the room. "A smart fool."

The pain seemed to subside. I was yanked to stand, orange swirled eyes glaring at me. "What did you hear?"

"No-nothing."

"Don't lie."

My body was in a prickling fury again, the man held me off the ground so that my feet dangled. He pressed down on the raised lumps on my left wrist. "Tell me what you heard, or I'll beat it out of you."

"Something about Orochimaru, and um—bodies."

"Does it mean anything to you?"

"No." I whispered. He dropped me the floor.

"Can you hear me Orochimaru?" The man seized me by my hair, wrenching my face to look at his. "We are going to win this! When I find you, I'm going to kill you and your little army."

_Does he think I am this 'Orochimaru' person? _

"I'm not Orochimaru." I replied, attempting feebly to sound strong when I felt like an emotional wreck.

"Indeed." He smirked. "Men can't get pregnant." He let go of my hair. "Itachi, block her mind from before."

I tried to kick the man. He stumbled slightly. Blazing orange eyes glared back down at me. He seized my left hand, squeezing it with his. I felt each of my fingers snap, break off from the joint, they hung limp against my palm.

I heard Itachi scream with me.

That was it, immense pain and then no feeling at all.

* * *

When I awoke, I wanted to scream but it wouldn't come, Itachi was in the bed as well. I had a dull ache in my hand. I didn't want to look. My mind must have been blocked because the only recollection was walking about the manor and then a gap and then the horrible memory of having my fingers broken.

My entire body tensed as a warm arm curled about my waist. I thrust my elbow into Itachi's stomach. He grunted and released me.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"Don't touch me." I snapped, shifting to the other side of the bed with what little energy I had left.

"You owe me an apology." He whispered, his hand slinking over my shoulder. I thought he was going to kiss me then he rolled me to face him swiftly. He held his bandaged hand in my face. "He broke my fingers too."

"Good."

"No, not good." He glared. "Thanks to your bout of eavesdropping, I'm off missions for a month!"

"Yeah, well you're not a prisoner in a group of fucking psychos, are you?! You're not completely fucking miserab…" I trailed off as the urge to cry inundated me. I didn't want to cry in front of him, I didn't want to appear weak. But I had a feeling it was far too late for that.

Itachi just looked at me with an incredulous look. "You're not a prisoner…"

"Really? When can I leave?"

"Where would you go? back home?" He smirked. "You have no proper recollection of your home or the lands, you know no one outside this manor that is living. Would you rather have your child here or under some shrubs in the forest?"

I slapped him.

_That's for being an asshole. _

He seized my left wrist, almost crushing it as he pressed down on the raised lumps. "I'd kill you but the leader forbids it."

"Your point being?"

"You're still my woman, and for the next month I have nothing better to do than advanced baby sitting."

"Baby sitting me?"

"No, some new recruits." He said it so calmly, almost as if we didn't hate each other. He released my wrist and rolled over without another word.

"Are you okay?" _Damn my helping nature… _

"I thought you 'hated' me." He snarled.

"Oh shut up and tell me what's wrong."

"Just a headache, that's all." He rolled over to face me. "I'll just go see the medic later. I need rest."

"Did he really break your fingers?"

"Yeah, at the same time as yours."

"Who is he?"

"The leader of the Akatsuki."

"That was cruel."

"Hardly, you should meet Hidan. He is one sadisti-" He cocked his head to one side. "Why are you being friendly to me?"

I rolled over. _Ass. I just wanted to talk. _

"Don't look away from me when I'm talking to you!" He grabbed my shoulder and turned me back in his direction. "It's rude, very unladylike."

"Whatever."

"No, not 'whatever'. You need to learn manners! You're like a five year old."

"And you're any better?"

"At least I know better than to eavesdrop."

I clambered out of the bed to find that the air was freezing. I leapt right back under the covers. "How long was I asleep for?"

"A week or two."

"Will you tell me your reason for keeping me asleep?"

"I do not have to explain myself to you." He smirked. "You still owe me an apology."

"I'm not apologizing."

"If you don't, I'll –" He cupped the side of my face with his unbroken hand. "Have to hurt you."

"I hate you."

He leaned in close, his lips almost brushing mine. "I hate you too." Then his lips were on mine, demanding, taking what he wanted.

My emotions mingled, disrupting reality. I closed my eyes. _This is not happening…_

"Look at me my hime." He whispered against my lips.

My eyes flew open. _Did he just call me his _princess?

"wha-"

He silenced me with his lips. I had always imagined a murderers touch to be cold not warm and comforting. His hand slipped to the small of my back, pulling me ever so close.

I cried out as he brushed my broken fingers. I recoiled quickly.

"OUCH! Watch the fingers!"

He took my hand and kissed my bandaged fingers. His hand then traveled down and over my belly.

"I want you to see Raiu tomorrow." He whispered his hand now pushing under the hem of my shirt. "I want him to keep watch on your pregnancy."

I freed my spare hand and slapped him.

"Let go of me now."

He let go, watching as I fled out of the room.

_All he cared about was the fucking baby…_

_----------------_

**Narkness: Gollyy. Just wait for ze next chapter, It starts to heat up. Itachi is still pissed. Wait for the havoc the new recruits cause. It'll be worse than a group of six year olds on sugar. Maybe a lemon, I dunno its akward because of the POV. And I don't like changing POVs. Like that guy who wrote the dune trilogy, he switches POvs between books. Not cool. **

**Tehehehe. **

**So you know 'hime' means princess in Japanese! All hail the Japanese dictionary (It's like my bible.) **

**A big thanks to the fan fiction authors who have unknowingly helped me procrastinate, like Priss Hatake, Anime/ Manga Fanatic. (Theres this cool one from Priss, it's a DeiSaku.) **

**R&R. Pwetty pwease! **


	6. Redemption

**In the process of writing this chapter: **

**Number of coffees: **16.

**Number of times cursed as coffee split everywhere: **15. (I do not have steady hands when I'm itching to write.)

**Number of times fallen asleep at computer desk**: 5

**Number of crappy snacks eaten: **Too many.

**Number of times the batteries on my I pod were run out: **3.

**Boxes of tissues used when I found out how to finish this story: **1. (sob).

**Times rewritten: **Once, cause I wrote it and then realized it left all sorts of plot holes and illogicalness.

-----

Amnesia.

Chapter Six: Redemption.

-----

_It was a calm backdrop, a sun lit sky, a thick field of green grass and wildflowers, that over looked a town with a huge mountain with five faces carved into it. I wore no shoes, and for no particular reason, I was very pregnant. _

"_Sakura." Drawled a familiar voice. Sasuke stood at top the hill that rose behind me. But something was off. It wasn't Sasuke, half his face was decayed, rotted away. Then he was right in front of me, katana drawn back to thrust into my stomach. "Whore." He pushed the katana forward with all his strength, killing me, killing my child. _

_-_

_Red, everything was red. _

_Huge snakes surged up over the concrete walls, the walls exploded in a matter of moments after. _

_Screams filled the darkened night. _

_And I just watched. _

_Just sat on that mountain and watched the body count climb. _

"_Sakura?" _

_No one was there. _

"_Sakura?" _

_A dark shadow loomed out of the night. Two tall men, one resembling more shark than man. I screamed. _

_I don't know why. _

_I just did. _

_There was a sharp blow to the back of my head. _

_Sweet blackened bliss. _

"Sakura!" Someone was shaking me. "Get up! I won't have you sleeping in!" Itachi was shaking me awake with one hand.

"Don't fucking touch me." I grumbled, rolling over on the bed, pulling the sheets tighter around me.

"I can't leave you by yourself, leader's orders." I was pulled from the bed against my will.

----------------

"When you said 'babysitting' I didn't realize you were talking about children!"

"Get over it Itachi, It's just for the week. Tobi will be helping you. Those 'children' are fourteen! I seem to remember you were about that age when you joined, maybe younger!"

"Konan –"

"Don't 'Konan' me. If you disobey the leader again he's promised to break more than your fingers. Don't forget, you have kitchen duty! Bye Itachi."

I watched from the bench as Itachi had an argument with the blue haired woman and lost. The look of annoyance, when a man wearing an orange mask bounded over to see him, on his face was priceless.

I pulled the blanket tighter about me with my right hand, seemed like it was getting colder by the second. I wanted nothing more to go back inside where it was warm. But then again this should be _amusing. _

-------

Highly amusing, actually.

Itachi, the normally commanding man that he was, was being ignored. The group of five just ignored him as he yelled and screamed for attention. Until of course' Itachi threatened to kill them.

"Listen to me right now! Or I'll feed you to Zetzu."

I had never met Zetzu, but the children must have recognized it as a threat because they shut up instantly.

"Which ones you think are gonna die, eh Deidara? Tobi thinks the little brunette one."

_What the? _

I whirled around swiftly on the bench, facing the two men. "What do you mean 'which one's are gonna die'?"

"We only accept two new recruits each year, and most of them don't see battle till there about 20. But we are in need of new members for reasons undisclosed to you." The blonde man explained. "We pair up the kids and make them fight each other."

"To the death." Tobi added excitedly.

"The pair that wins becomes the new members."

"That's sick." I commented.

"You may think it wrong but it's the only way to see if they are any good in a real life or death situation."

"Can you just stop them before they kill each other?"

"What's the fun in that?" Deidara said with a slight chuckle.

_Sadistic bastards…_

"There are five of them, how can you pair them up?"

"Usually one dies before we get to the matches. Last year there was this boy who…"

I blocked their talk from my mind. The whole idea of this was _barbaric _and so horribly wrong.

"Mind if I sit here?" Said a totally calm and friendly voice that sounded almost…polite…

"Not at all." The brown haired man sat calmly beside me.

"You must be Sakura, I'm Raiu." He held his hand out for me to shake, I took it cautiously. This man, Raiu, unlike the rest, actually looked friendly. He was middle aged; his face had many wrinkles, calm brown eyes and a thinning tuft of brown hair. "I'm the medic." He explained, pushing his glasses back up as they were slipping.

"Itachi said something about you." I mumbled.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing…Nothing..."

---------

"How does Itachi know what he's doing?" I asked as the final competitor stepped up to fight Itachi.

"How could he not! We all watch this every year."

"Who normally carries out the test?"

"Hidan, but he's busy."

The only girl of the group stood in a white circle on the field.

"She's gonna be the first to go." Tobi said. "Tobi bets Deidara three hundred yen she dies first."

"Don't be so sure." Raiu said coolly, never looking away from the field. "She is of the Kyu clan. If Itachi is not careful he could take quite a beating."

Tobi and Deidara chuckled. "Yeah." Deidara began. "And if she's not careful she's gonna get her mind crushed." Tobi finished.

"What are you idiots babbling about?" Echoed a cool voice void of emotion.

"This girls gonna get crushed."

"Really?" the auburn man made a noise that remotely resembled a chuckle. "I bet you, Tobi, four hundred yen she beats Itachi."

I looked away from the babbling group.

"Itachi tells me you are a medic –"

"Really? He doesn't seem like much of a talker."

"Oh Ha-ha!" Itachi snapped from across the field, before focusing on the girl again." Are you going to attack me or not? The enemy will not wait for you to make the first move, little girl."

She stood with her hands in prayer, her head tilted downwards, eyes shut and her lips forming a silent incantation.

As Itachi's eyes flared to a vibrant red, the girl opened her eyes to reveal glowing purple irises.

"Ready?" She murmured.

A huge silver dragon rose up behind her, an earsplitting roar heralded it's presence. The air seemed to heat to an unbearable humidity. I could feel the heated breathing on my neck.

"Holy shit." Tobi and Deidara cussed in unison.

Then the girl screamed and fell to her knees.

"Fight it!" Itachi yelled. "If you do not fight me, I will crush your mind."

"What's he doing to her?" I asked Raiu.

"Tsukoyomi, he's taken control of her mind, he can make her see anything he wants. She has to fight it or she'll end up with the IQ of cardboard."

Whilst Itachi looked composed, I could see his hand shaking, he was perspring more than normal, his face flushed slightly red and from the corner of his eyes seemed to be little rivulets of red, _blood…_

The girl cried out and forced herself to stand.

"Shit, she got out of it." Deidara said.

"There is something wrong." Raiu murmured. Before he could try to stop the match, Itachi yelled out and doubled over. The girl smirked and the dragon sent a huge fireball out at him.

"Itachi!" I screamed as he was engulfed in the flame.

It wasn't that I cared for him; It was that I didn't want to witness death. I want to atone for my past mistakes, whatever they are. Almost unconscious of my own movements, I stood and bolted into the flame.

I never wanted to witness death, ever again.

---------------

"Can't you just heal him?" I snapped as Raiu tried his best to wrap Itachi's burnt form.

"I specialize in cuts and wounds, not burns. This is the best I can do."

_He's going to die. It's your fault. _A traitorous voice whispered inside my head.

I tried to imagine my hands going blue, healing him like I had that night in the hotel.

It wasn't working.

"Is…he going to…die?"

"Its unlikely, but he'll retain some pretty bad scarring on his arms and torso. I'm more worried about what made him collapse."

"What do you think it was?"

"I have no idea." Raiu stood and walked for the door. "If he wakes up, come and get me."

I sat at the bedside and watched Itachi sleep, thankful that his burn blackened skin was either covered by bandages or the sheets of the bed. His hair was singed and frazzled sticking out awkwardly.

_At least he's alive…_

God damn what is wrong with me…

_Anyone would think that you might actually _care _about him, Sakura._

No…What I want is redemption, I want to atone. If I truly did help destroy a nation, maybe this in a little way might help me sleep at night with just a little less guilt.

Just a little less…take that first step to…well I guess…redemption.

----------------------------

_This chapter was origanaly named 'Advanced Babysitting' and had Itachi performing piggyback rides. Sadly, due to temporary insanity, I rewrote the chapter as it was quite silly. _

_Thank you for outstanding patience. I usually turn out a chappy a day but I've been depressed and moping about with, what seems to be, writers block. I hope its writers block. _

_I know I promised havoc but thats coming over chappys as (most) of them are here to stay. _

_I've been having some shit going on so don't expect regular chappy releases as much. _

_Thank you wonderful reviewers, it's nice to see someone appreciates my writing. _

_Please review so I may contiune writing this story with a better mood and possibly more ideas. (I'm looking at you reviewers!.) If you have any wonderful ideas for torture etc etc etc. please let me know. I'm running out of ideas..._

Narkness .


	7. Lost In The Supermarket

_No I have not gone loopy and no one gets lost in a supermarket in this chapter. _

_Listen to 'Lost in the supermarket' by The Clash. It talks about having no personality and feeling lost and such, look up the lyrics. _

_And guess what_ people; _you can get the _entire Yu-gi-oh! Abridged Series_ in a video pod cast! Tehehehe….YAYYYYYY_

_And I have finally decided on what I'm going to be: _A professional…burden on society! (My mother still thinks I should become a telephone sex operator)

And would anyone care if I started adding in affixes like –kun and –chan? Let me know.

**Chapter dedicated to:** the memories of happy times.

--------------

Amnesia.

Chapter Seven: Lost In The Supermarket.

--------------

_Flame and, heat…_

_Hate and anger…_

_Snakes and cold... _

_Power…_

_The smell of burning flesh as it was scraped and burnt away from the bone. _

_A scream…A plea of mercy…_

That sounds like…

"_Sasuke!"_

_A pair of unblinking yellow snake eyes glared back from a bone white face, it had no flesh, no hair, the top of its head cracked open. Its brain pulsed, the sickly looking organ. _

"_Hello…Sa-ku-ra…" The voice drawled each syllable of my name with lust. _

_I shuddered. _

"_I'm coming for my son…" _

"_No!" _

"_Yes…See you soon Sa-ku-ra." _

"SASUKE!"

"Sakura? What the bloody hell is going on?" Raiu helped me from the floor of the bedroom.

My reality was blurred. I couldn't stop seeing that horrid snake face, it sickened me. _Its _voice, its words, resounded in my head, over and over.

"_Yes…See you soon Sa-ku-ra." _

"_I'm coming for my son..." _

"Are you okay?"

I couldn't form coherent words, I just clutched hopelessly to the man who had unsuspectingly volunteered to be my life preserver as I drowned in my thoughts.

"I…Sasu…snake…"

"What, you had a nightmare?"

I nodded into his chest. _Just a nightmare, just a nightmare, just a silly little nightmare…_

As I regained some form of grip on reality. "Is Itachi okay?" I whispered.

"He's fine; he's trying to feed himself back in the infirmary." Raiu let out a soft chuckle.

"That idiot is going to get rice everywhere." I loosened my grip around Raiu's shoulders. "Are you hungry?" He asked.

_Correction, I'm starving._

"Yeah."

"Come on, we'll eat and then go check up on Itachi, I've got to change his bandages."

* * *

A most amusing sight, the normally enigmatic Uchiha, trying to shovel rice into his mouth rather unsuccessfully with chopsticks with his fingers bandaged together. 

"Laugh and I will kill you." He said rather seriously, pointing a wooden chopstick at me, rice spilt over his bandaged torso, chin and the bed sheets. "Can you heal me Raiu?" Itachi demanded of the calm medic.

Raiu sighed deeply, clutching a hand to his forehead. "I can't heal burns."

"What kind of shit excuse is that?!" Itachi roared, waving his arms about. "I'm going to kill that girl."

"No you won't Itachi. Tobi and Deidara already tried to and got attacked by her boyfriend."

"You think I'm going to be deterred by her little 'boyfriend'. Get me out of this bed now or heads will roll!"

"I'm not letting you out of that bed until you are healed."

"Fuck you." Itachi threw a pillow at Raiu. "Just get out, the pair of you, out now!"

"Itachi –" Raiu began.

"Get out old man!"

"Your bandages-"

"Sakura can change them."

"Wha-" I interjected but was cut off by Raiu sighing and walking from the room like he hadn't just been assaulted and verbally abused. "I don't know how to change bandages!" I snapped, but kept my voice down. "I don't remember anything about medical shit!"

"Raiu doesn't know that, and please don't cuss."

"Why'd you lie to Raiu?!"

"Because I need to speak to you, privately."

"What about…?"

"The leader has asked me to do this, come here."

I was cautious. _What was he going to do? _

"Sit on the bed, here." I sat on the edge of the bed, teetering. He placed his hands over my belly.

"What are you doing?" I asked as his hands glowed blue.

"Protecting the baby." His hands then clamped over my temples, his eyes flared a vibrant red, and pain rippled through my head like someone was pulling apart my brain. Reality faded away to white, Itachi was there.

"I just have to find something…"_ Itachi whispered as my memories were played on the white like a huge movie screen. _

"_KAKASHI-SENSEI!" the blonde boy yelled as he was tied up to the wooden pole, forced to watch the silver haired Nin eat his lunch. _

"Not what we're looking for."_ Itachi declared. The images flickered again. _

"_You're awake kunoichi..." Said a frighteningly familiar shark man on the movie of my life that was being played. _

"Too far."

"_SASUKE!" I screamed, reaching into the circle, but Naruto held me back as Sasuke and Itachi circled each other, katanas drawn, faces twisted in rage._

"Little further…"

_The night was horridly silent, just a full moon as I sat atop _Hokage's Mountain _and contemplated killing myself, dangling my feet casually over the edge of the Third Hokage's forehead, looking out on all of Konoha. _

"_Sasuke…" _

_He's dead because of you, said that traitorous little voice inside my head, because you couldn't save him. You're weak, it's your fault. I couldn't stop replaying the imagery of the night before; I still _felt _Sasuke's blood on my body, my hands. Hell, I could still see it, no matter how much I washed, that blood would never go away, it would always taint my mind, my soul. _

_I could see his face, lying still with death, contorted with pain, the mottled gray mixed with crimson. And tomorrow would be his funeral, where people would tell me to move on, try to smile. _

_Fuck that. _

_How can I move on after seeing the man I've loved since childhood die, move on after I held him as he took his last breaths? How could I smile when I've been covered in his blood that was split savagely by Sasuke's own brother? _

_I would not live being pitied by everyone, not while people whispered about how sad I looked. _

_I won't stand it. _

_I inched a little closer, just a fraction more and I could fall to a painful, yet blissful death. _

_Just another inch…_

_I pushed off with my hands; I closed my eyes at the falling sensation, that blissful falling sensation that would lead to my splattering on the rocks below. _

_Then something awfully strange happened, the feeling stopped, someone grasped my arm, pulling me back up onto the Third's head._

"_What are you doing kunoichi?" A raspy tinny yet womanly voice quizzed. I stared up into yellowed snake eyes, the face hidden by a thick head of black hair and the night. Then I realized, as he released his grip, that he hadn't grabbed me with his arm, but his _tongue… _He threw his head back, looking up into the moon, effectually pushing hair from his face. _

"_Orochimaru?" I whispered, recognizing the snake man. Most shinobi who came in contact with this man, and at such close contact, would surely fear for their lives, but not me, not when I didn't want my life. _

_However I felt confused, a man who took lives just saved mine. _

"_Hello Sakura…" He drawled out each syllable of my name. "I heard about Sasuke…" _

"_What do you want asshole?" Two black swathed figures stepped out from the darkness. _

"_Don't speak to Master like that!" screeched a black swathed man who ran at me, kunai raised. _

"_Leave it Kabuto." _

"_But Master-" The man stopped instantly, lowering his kunai. _

"_Don't question me Kabuto." _

"_Yes Master." _

_Orochimaru looked back down at me with those cunning yellow eyes. "I want you to do something for me Sakura." _

"_Like I care, leave me to die asshole. I was having a great time till you showed up." _

"_You wish to die?" _

"_I think that is rather obvious." _No idiot I wanted to jump and see what colour I splattered for fun.

"_Will you do something for me if I kill you?" _

"_Before or after you kill me?" _

"_Before." _

"_And what would you have me do?" _

"_Kill everyone in Konoha." _

_Wait WHAT!_

"_And once you kill them, I'm going to revive Sasuke." _

_My emotions conflicted, Sasuke back or my friends, the people of Konoha. _

"_I…I won't help you." I managed to say, I cared for others more than myself._

"_I wasn't asking for your consent kunoichi." _

_I was then pinned to the ground as Orochimaru leap at me, biting into my neck just like a snake. It was like a poison, a chemical that clouded my mind, I couldn't move my body, but I stood. _

_I couldn't control my body but I was still fully aware of my surroundings. _

"_Just think Sakura, you'll be helping Sasuke come back. Do this for him, don't you love him?" _

_I couldn't speak from my body, but it didn't stop me trying. "FUCKING ASSHOLE!" _

"_Shame you won't get to see him again hey? After this I'll kill you just as you wanted." _

_I, uncontrollably, leapt down the Thirds face, landing down on the ground. My body dragged me to Hokage's tower. I climbed each stair before walking past the guards without a word, I was Tsunade's apprentice, I would often come up to speak to her. _

"_No,no…I don't want to kill Tsunade." _

_The worst part was I couldn't even close my eyes, I couldn't block it out. I would have to watch as I, uncontrollably, killed my friend and teacher. The doors were opened by the ANBU guarding the door. They looked at me with a glance of pity, like they were saying 'Oh my you're the poor girl who was engaged to Sasuke.' _

_After they closed behind me, Tsunade glanced up from her desk, she looked awfully tired, and she too hadn't slept. However Shizune wasn't at her side, neither was TonTon that delightful little pig I had spent many occasions playing with. _

"_Are you okay Sakura?" _

"_I just wanted to speak to you." My voice spoke of it's own accord. _

"_I knew you couldn't bottle it up. Its okay sweetie." She stood from behind her desk, smiling softly at me as if she understood as she did. She'd lost Dan, she'd watched him die, and she'd been covered in his blood. She put her arms around me, cuddling me to her. "You'll get through this; we're all here for you, everyone is." _

_Then my hand went to my kunai pouch, drawing out a poisoned knife silently. _

"_I think you should take a holiday Sakura, go spend a week somewhere, get away from all this. I know you must hate having everyone look at you with pity. I know you musn't feel like it's going to be okay, but you have to do things that make you happy. Tomorrow is Sasuke –"_

_Tsunade's eyes widened in shock and horror as I swiftly stabbed a kunai into her back, right between the shoulder blades, severing her spinal cord. Tsunade dropped to the floor the effects of the poison taking over, she convulsed, she choked on her own vomit. _

"_I'm sorry Tsunade." I whispered, even though I couldn't really say it. _

"_Holy shit! Hokage are you okay?" My voice yelled out, alerting the guards outside the door. They ran in, seeing the woman in her last moments of life. As they bent to check her pulse and one to clear the vomit, they got poison kunais to the throat. _

_I felt physically nauseated by the sight. _

_My body dragged me around Hokage's tower, killing each guard and ANBUs that I had met before, for each kill I cried inside more and more. I truly wanted to die more and more. _

_As I stood atop Hokage's tower as a great explosion took place, huge snakes surged up over and through the walls that surrounded Konoha. Screams filled the night. I wanted to take a huge run and just leap off the tower, splatter on the streets below. I wanted a huge group of ninja to swarm up and kill me, rip me limb from limb_

_After hours and hours as the sun slowly began to rise the screams ended, the snakes slowly slithered away. My body took me back atop Hokage's mountain. _

"_Kill me now, please." _

_But Orochimaru wasn't there, a pair of black and red cloaked men stood there. _

"_Who are you kunoichi?" the shark man demanded, hefting his huge sword in my direction. _

"_Haruno Sakura, ANBU of Konoha, helper in the destruction of Konoha." My voice said as I saluted them. _

"_We're supposed to believe a little kunoichi like you took out Konoha?" _

"_With masters help, of course." _

"_Who is your master?" Said the raven haired one, whom I recognized as Uchiha Itachi. _

"_Orochimaru, Say goodbye Akatsuki scum." _

_I, uncontrollably, took a run at them, but was deterred as the shark man swung at me with his sword. _

"_Want a taste of my Samehada bitch?" _

"_Kisame, let me handle this." Itachi disappeared, coming up behind me, holding an arm around my waist and a kunai to the throat. "Do you want to die?" _

"_YES!" I screamed inside my body. _

"_I live to serve my master!" My voice screamed at him. _

"_Not anymore." Itachi whispered pulling me tighter against him. His face nuzzled the side of my throat. "You were the one engaged to my brother?" _

"_I live to serve my master!" _

_His arm that held my waist moved so his hand caressed my stomach, his hand glowing blue giving me a tickling sensation. "You're pregnant." He murmured. _

"_Pregnant, Sasuke's baby." I said inside my mind, I hadn't known. _

"_I live to serve MY MASTER!" _

"_Should we take her back to HQ?" Kisame asked. _

"_Yes. Leader will be pleased. We're going to get you this time Orochimaru." _

"_What if he's got a hold on her mind? Like he can rifle through her thoughts?" _

"_She'll have her mind wrapped by Tobi, it'll block out Orochimaru." _

_As they talked my voice screamed louder and louder, over and over: "I live to serve my master!" _

"_Shall I carry her Itachi? I don't think you should risk it this low on energy." _

"_Whatever, be careful with her." _

_I was passed to the shark man and thrown over his shoulder, where I kicked and thrashed and screamed until I received a swift blow to the back of the head from the shark man. _

"_Shut up!" _

_Maybe I can finally die now, I thought as I succumbed to the blackness. _

I sat shell shocked as Itachi released me from the jutsu. I teetered on the side of the bed. Itachi's hands slipped over my belly, releasing the protective jutsu around my unborn child. I doubled over and vomited my dinner onto the floor of the infirmary. Strong yet bandaged arms pulled me back up onto the bed.

"Are you alright?" Itachi murmured, pushing my hair from my face.

I couldn't speak.

I _did _do all those horrible things, I killed Tsunade, and I left Konoha open for an attack.

I couldn't move.

I would never see Tsunade smile or Shizune laugh or TonTon squeal happily as I chased him.

I couldn't function.

I would never again see Kakashi smile behind his mask, I missed the way he'd read his perverted books, how he was always late, how he saw me as his daughter.

I could barely breathe.

I would never see Naruto again, I would never again hear one of his silly Hokage speeches, or watch him as he laughs or watch him get into trouble like he always did or see him argue with Sasuke…

I couldn't breathe.

Sasuke… I would never see his arrogant smirk or his darling face as he slept or the way he sometimes smiled in rare moments. He would never meet his own child.

"Sakura, you need to breathe."

I would never again see Ino and her sunny laughter, our rivalry. I would never again see Shikamaru and his lazy behavior. I would never again see Choji and his habit of eating.

"Sakura, are you listening to me?"

I would never again hear another 'power of youth' speech from Rock Lee, I would never hear Tenten scolding Lee and Neji, and I would never again talk to the stoic Hyuuga.

"SAKURA?"

I would never again see Hinata shyly speak to Naruto, I would never again watch Kiba and Akamaru get up to trouble, and I would never again see Shino, the quiet gentleman that enjoyed every aspect of nature.

Gone…All gone.

Gone forever.

"Sakura, are you still there? Talk to me!"

No more Konoha, no more happy people. No more smiley faces, just rotting corpses in the sun.

"Sakura?" Itachi cupped my face with his hands, forcing me to look at him. "Come on. Talk to me."

My fault, I killed Tsunade, the Hokage.

"Tell me your okay, Sakura?"

I killed my friends.

"Do you want me to get Raiu?"

I let it happen. I couldn't stop Orochimaru…

"Sakura?"

"I…I…I killed them." I whispered blankly. I needed to feel warmth, feel safe. I, did as broken humans do, wrapped my arms around Itachi, and cuddled to his warm, yet bandaged, torso.

He didn't say anything for a long time, neither did I…He didn't complain, even though I was sure I was irritating his burnt flesh and causing plenty of pain.

I felt lost.

_I killed them…_

And I remembered everything, every second.

* * *

_There you go, thats what happened to Konoha. _

_But read back on the other chappys were the Akatsuki discuss the Kyuubi and how they don't have him. _

_and uhh Its the KONOHA disaster. I'll let you think about that. And most of my characters don't stay dead for long. But Tsunade is definitly dead._

_And as for Itachi, no he will not be disfigured, (you think I'd disfigure my sexy future husband?) tehehehe. _

_Tell me what you think about this chapter by Review or PM. _

_Any questions can be asked through PM, not through review. _

_OMG THIS CHAPTER HAS MORE FLASHBACKS THAN AN EP OF NARUTO!_

**Narky out:)**


	8. House Of Wolves

--------------

Amnesia.

Chapter Eight: House of Wolves.

-----------------

I listened as the fallen leaves crackled under my bare feet. It was cold, but it didn't matter. Rain drops kept falling on my head, but it didn't matter.

_What matters anymore? Nothing…_

I heard the soft chirp of birds in the tree above me, I glanced upwards. Three little blue feathered birds had chosen the tree to roost in. they shook out and ruffled their feathers, drying off, huddling together as a family.

_Like a family I destroyed. _

I kept walking, listening to the 'crunch' as I stepped. The usually calm waters of the creek rippled with rainfall. A pair of little white ducks huddled in the reeds that grew along the bank.

_That's their home, their protection. Where's my home…_

Home is where the heart is, that was a saying my mother would repeat.

_What a crock. Does that mean my homes in a fucking grave six feet under? Or is my home a rotting corpse in the sun that once resembled a friend? Or is it ruins tainted by death, hate and betrayal? _

Right now my 'home' was a manor filled with crazed megalomaniac murderers.

But I may be able to live in blissful ignorance for a little while longer, not face the reality that I wouldn't probably live to see another spring, I probably would never see my child's first birthday or another warm face or someone who cared.

_Never see your friends…_

It was painfully apparent that I wouldn't live past my nineteenth birthday unless I agreed to push out babies for Itachi. I knew that I wouldn't grow old with Sasuke and live happily ever after like my five year old self had dreamed.

What I wouldn't give to once hear Naruto's laugh, or see Sasuke's blank expression or watch Kakashi grin like a Cheshire cat under his mask as he read those perverted books of his.

From the time we were Genin I would scold Naruto, tell him he was a _baka. _Now if I had the chance I would hug him, tell him how _great _a ninja he was.

I would tackle Kakashi and see what's under that goddamn mask of his, I would tell him how much of a wonderful teacher he was; spend another night at his house cooking his meals.

If I had a second chance I would kiss Sasuke silly, hold on and never let go of him again.

Could I go back I would have cleaved Orochimaru the moment I saw him that night. I _should _have ripped that bastards head off, protected my home that was now nothing more than rubble.

So many things I would have done.

Now my friends, the villagers, would be spoken of in past tense, a mere distant memory in the corner of my mind.

I had wasted so much of my life; I had done not even half the things I had wanted to do. I had never fully appreciated the love and care around me, it had always been a given, something that I had just unknowingly expected.

What was my future now? To push out babies or die? Or end up cooking and cleaning for murderers. Or worse yet _join _the Akatsuki.

Dark clouds rolled in from the corners of the south sky, thunder rumbling with the rain.

A thunderstorm…

I was distracted for a moment, trying to fathom where this manor was situated.

Somewhere north, I gathered from the poor weather. I couldn't see the landscape as ten foot walls surrounded the grounds, much like the ones back…_home. _

But sun never truly shone through, as it was either foggy, at daybreak, or overcast, during the day. It escaped me how trees could still grow in such a miserable habitat.

_They must have some sort of gardener ninja expert. _

I wandered a little further along the thickly reeded banks, contemplating. The leaves, whether they were on trees or the ground, had taken on different hues, some yellow, some orange, some red, some still green. It was an amazing display of foliage. I picked up a stone from the ground, casting it in a swift motion into the stream.

_I have to let go. _

_Goodbye…_

"Don't you know only baka's with death wishes stand outside in the rain?" elicited a friendly voice. Raiu stepped beside me, holding the black umbrella over me as well. "Come on, the tournament is resuming soon."

"I don't want to watch it."

"No I mean Itachi will kill you if you're not back and there, you're not supposed to be by yourself at anytime. We'll get you back inside, in a hot bath and dressed in dry clothes eh?"

"You're different from the others." I told him as we began trudging back up to the house.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not crazy or a murderer."

Raiu chuckled softly. "Maybe I'm just good at hiding it."

"But you don't act like the others; you don't have that aura of murderous intent."

"I'm just a scholar Sakura." He said. "I gave up being a ninja many years ago."

"Why?"

"My legs." He pointed out. "When I was around my late thirties still back in my home village, we were attacked by a great monster snake, I was poisoned, and it ate the bones of my legs away." He took off his shoes before helping me inside the house. He left his umbrella open, and then closed the oak door.

He took off his socks revealing metal shaped feet. He lifted the leg of his pants and revealed poles of silver metal. "I can't run though." He explained. "They are attached to my chakra system; I use bursts of chakra to walk."

"That's amazing. Who-" before I could finish my question, he passed me a towel from the cupboard.

"Go have a wash; I will have Hinari bring you clean clothes, now."

I walked down the complicated twists of hallways, finding Itachi's room. I knocked before entering, last thing I needed was a grumpy Itachi if I came in without notice.

Surprisingly Itachi stood by the cupboard wearing nothing but pants, his hair unbound and damp, but that wasn't want surprised me. It was the absence of burns all over his body; instead his skin just looked like it had been badly sun burnt.

"Wha -"

"The medic came back." He answered swiftly in that silky enigmatic tone of his.

"But I thought Rai-"

"We have more than one medic Sakura, what would we do if a person is injured while one is out on a job? Surely you of all people would know something like that." He smirked, furrowed his brows. "Why are you wet?"

"I was outside."

"By yourself?"

I shook my head. "Raiu was -"

"Don't lie to me!" Within a heartbeat he had me pinned to the bedroom wall. "You were alone weren't you?"

I kept silent.

"Answer me!"

"I was alone, I needed time to think."

"You will do you're thinking in my presence. You are not to leave my side."

"Why, I was just -"

"Don't question me!" He yelled, applying more pressure to my wrist that he grasped. "I told you that you are not to be alone! You will suffer the consequences!"

"Let go of me."

"No." His face tensed further. "I gave you privileges, you were allowed to go anywhere about this place, as long as you had someone with you. You have disobeyed me."

_Since when have I cared about what you think, weasel? _

"You will stay at my side from now on." He released his grip from my wrist, and turned back to the dresser and plucked out a shirt.

"Asshole." I murmured, leaning down to pick up my towel from the floor.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing…"

"Do all Konoha shinobi have such bad manners?" When I looked back up again, he was right up in my face, glaring at me. "Hmm?"

"Just you." I said, regretting it instantly as searing pain ripped through me. Itachi's face was void of any warm emotion, just a twist of hate.

"I have no association with that GODFORSAKEN VILLAGE ANYMORE!" He screeched in my face.

"Is this a bad time…?" said a small voice behind us, Hinari stood in the doorway, a bundle of clothes in her hands.

"Not at all." Itachi said emotionlessly, releasing me, letting me sink to the ground. Hinari scurried hurriedly to the bed, set down the clothes and left. Hinari reminded me of a timid mouse.

I picked myself up off the bedroom floor, moving towards the bathroom. Itachi turned about, eyeing my towel.

"Shame I've already washed, I could have joined you." He murmured to me with lustful eyes, it unnerved me.

_God this guy has more mood swings than a woman…_

The fast splatter on the window pane of rain coincided with the rapid beating of my heart.

"What are you waiting for? Go on! We don't have all day, unless of course you want me to watch you?" Itachi's face carried a suggestive smirk, holding out the clothes Hinari had left on the bed.

I pretty sure I flushed an all new shade of red after that, I hurriedly accepted the clothes. "No…" I managed to squeak in a hurried whisper, retreating to the washroom before you could count to one.

-------------------------------------

"Where is that Kyu girl, I'm going to rip her legs off and then -" Itachi's hate filled declaration was interrupted by Raiu's gentle reasoning.

"You can't kill her, Itachi."

"Yeah? Just watch me…" I heard Itachi grumble under his breath.

"She's already signed release forms, she's yet to obtain her ring but none the less she is now under Akatsuki protection, to harm Nadare in anyway would result in your defection, she is an unofficial member. I must say she showed exceptional skill -"

"Beginners luck." Itachi snarled at the unfazed medic. "Where are the others, I want to kill something."

"Only one." Said an alarmingly deep voice behind me, I would have jumped had Itachi not had a hand curved about my shoulder almost protectively at the first sound of the voice.

A most ghastly sight appeared, a huge man or should I say monster… he looked more like some sort of Venus fly trap. One side of his face was black and the other white, a smirk and aura of death about his huge Akatsuki cloaked form.

"Pein has ordered only one be killed throughout the _entire _tournament."

"When did you get here, Zetzu?" Itachi responded calmly, however his hand tightened on my shoulder.

_Zetzu? _I know fully understood the children's fear when that man's name had been uttered the previous day.

"With Mr. Dickless over there." The green monster man motioned carelessly toward a stick thin blue haired man who spoke with the auburn haired puppet master a few yards away. "Beside the point, I have spoken with Pein and the needs for two new partnerships are needed, the location 'toothbrush', situation 'shaving cream' has escaladed to code 'hair gel'."

_What the hell? _

The monster man sighed before continuing. "That is the last time we let Tobi create code words." Zetzu's gaze drifted over me, I thought he would eat me at any moment, his presence was intimidating. "Interesting, when was this new addition acquired?" He cocked his head to the side. "Doing anything tonight, little one?"

"You will have no such involvement with her, she is under our protection." Itachi snapped, his fingertips digging into my shoulder almost painfully now.

"You have marked her I see." Zetzu visually scrutinized the lumps on my left wrist, the red rash that peeked out from under my shirt sleeve. "She is pregnant, you move fast Uchiha."

_Does every murderer within a square mile have to know about my baby? _

"Alas, my _brother _seems to move faster." I then felt Itachi pulling me back, leading me to a bench that was protected from the rain and nearest the house. He looked down at me cautiously then leaned close to whisper in my ear. "Never find yourself alone with Zetzu."

"O…okay."

_Like hell I'd ever want to be alone with that freaky flytrap guy. _

Itachi took off his cloak, sitting it beside me, turning his attention to the four teenagers that sat under a canvas tent, striding across the rain soaked field.

"Sakura!" exclaimed a voice that should have belonged to a five year old child. "It'll be an exciting match today!" the orange masked man proclaimed, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"I bet three hundred yen on the blonde boy's death." Said Deidara. "I've seen old people look stronger than that."

"Don't underestimate old people Deidara; we can still pack a punch." Raiu interjected with a soft chuckle, sitting down beside me.

"You ain't old; you're just disabled, _old man._" Deidara shot back.

"Hey Deidara." Raiu called.

"What?"

"Art sucks." I was surprised by the normally mature act Raiu presented as he lowered himself to a childish level of teasing.

"You did not just -" there came a string of muffled curses as Tobi covered the explosives expert's mouth with his hand.

"Deidara should not use such words; make Tobi's ears bleed!"

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or roll my eyes or run away from the display these less than _sane _Shinobi were demonstrating.

"Are they always like this?" I whispered to Raiu.

"Tobi's always acted like he's five and Deidara hasn't been the same for over a year, he took quite a beating -" Raiu glanced over his shoulder to be sure _said _shinobi wasn't listening. "Brain damage." The scholar mouthed to me.

_That explained a lot. _

"How badly?" I murmured as Deidara began chasing the 'five year old' around the field, hurling kunai and shuriken.

"After the blow to his head his body went into autoimmune and attacked his brain. He still suffers a little; narcolepsy has been the main symptom.

"However it rarely affects his ability in the field, we are just sure that most of his work is performed during darker hours, when the drowsiness is less likely to strike. The damage extends to some behavioral problems; he angers easy, acts like a prepubescent teen half the time. And yet he is the best demolition expert known, have you seen his 'art'?"

"No."

"Amazing, he has these mouths on his hands that…

I stopped listening to Raiu after that. I really didn't want to know how Deidara created 'art', and as for these 'mouths' on his hands, It sounded quite unsanitary. And it seemed Raiu had a tendency to prattle on and on.

I just nodded my head as his lips moved; I didn't hear words, just static.

Black clouds moved overhead as we sat and watched it all unfold.

--------------------------------------------------------

The crashing of steel rung out about the field around us; the noise occasionally muffled by rain and thunder. It was like a discord of dark music, a song of death. The mousey haired boy fought back, matching each strike of Itachi's katana almost flawlessly. However, the boy's footwork lacked as he stumbled from time to time, finding it extremely difficult to match the elite ninja's attacks.

Itachi's expression remained impassive, despite the obvious pressure he would be feeling after an hour of fighting, he seemed unfazed by the heavy rain and ground that had long ago turned to slushy mud beneath his feet. I wondered how hard it would be to focus on the terrain while maintaining a decent defense with the katana.

"They've all fought in harder conditions that this." Raiu murmured softly.

I felt like Raiu could read my mind as he answered my questions without my vocalization of said question.

_Maybe he can read me like an open book… Am I that obvious? _

"Your lips move when you think." He whispered. I stiffened.

_Crap…_

"I didn't…I didn't realize." I buried my face in my hands. "Geez, that's so embarrassing."

"Hardly, Tobi reads aloud and puts on voices for each of the characters."

I couldn't help but giggle at the mental picture that formed in my mind.

"If you liked that, you should have been at last years Christmas party, Kisame had far too much to drink and told Deidara he was the prettiest girl he'd ever -"

"You celebrate Christmas!?" I interjected.

He gave me an incredulous look. "Doesn't everyone?"

_Now I've heard everything, the Akatsuki celebrate Christmas._

"Do you celebrate Valentines as well?" I commented as a joke.

"Only Tobi does."

A sharp shrill cry issued forth from the boy as Itachi's blade nicked his arm; he stumbled briefly before composing himself again.

"He's tired."

"Who?"

"The boy, he's about ready to collapse." Raiu whispered. "This match is over."

"But…"

"I'd look away Sakura."

Another cry rang out as the boy tripped, falling flat on the muddied ground. He scrambled helplessly in the mud, trying to get away. Itachi showed no emotion, just raised his blade, ready to render the boy into a dark dreamless sleep.

"NO!"

Every set of eyes was on me then.

I hadn't meant to cry out, it had just slipped.

"Don't kill him…" I managed, but it hardly appeased the wolf like looks I was getting. I felt Raiu tugging me back, pulling me into the hallway of the manor.

"We don't have a choice Sakura." Raiu tried to assure me, closing the door.

But it didn't stop me from hearing the boy's final scream with his last breath of air and the dull thud that rang out with it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

There was that static again.

Vaguely I was aware that Deidara was arguing the concept of what art is, one of Sasori's puppets was having a chopstick duel with another of his puppets, Hinari was giggling at the sight, Tobi was reciting verses from the bible with a ball of rice in his mouth, Raiu was chatting with 'Mr. Dickless' the blue haired medic and Zetzu, well, he talked to himself like a crazy man with two personalities, as _he is._

The four remaining recruits sat silently at the other end of huge table, food untouched, unnerved no doubt by seeing their team mate killed.

"Could you pass me that glass?" Itachi's silky tenor broke through the static.

"No."

Long fingers wrapped about my left wrist. "Pass me the damn glass now."

I glared up at him. "No, _weasel._"

"Pass me the glass or _else._"

"Whatever, you can't kill me, _leaders orders, _remember?"

The ruckus about the room had silenced, mixed emotes watched us intently now.

"Pass me that wine glass, _Cherry Blossom._"

"Don't fucking call me that." I snapped. _Sasuke…used to call me that. _

"Get it now, _my_ _Cherry._"

"Screw you, _weasel!_" I yelled in his face, regardless of who was watching.

With that, Itachi yanked me to stand and dragged me out of the dining hall and into the empty hallway. If looks could kill, Itachi would have fried me with his 'laser beam' glare.

He said nothing until he had made sure we were locked firmly in his bedroom.

"Don't you _ever _speak to me like that_ ever again_!" He bellowed in my face, he had lost his calm composure.

"What are you going to do about it? Kill me like that kid!?"

"He was weak! He would have died or dragged us down with him! It's not about sympathy anymore! We are at war! -"

"War?" I whispered disbelievingly.

Itachi's eyes widened. "Shit." He muttered. "I never said that. Go to bed Sakura."

"War? With who?"

"No one!"

"Let go of me!"

"No." He answered coldly.

_Another mood swing… _

"Let go of me now! You don't own me! I'm not yours!"

"The mark on your wrist says otherwise, _Cherry Blossom._ It says you belong to _me._"

"I'm not yours! I'm a person! Not a piece of meat to be passed around."

"You won't be passed around; I have no intention of letting you go."

"Let go of me you murderous bastard!"

I gasped as took a step back as his hand connected with my right cheek; I clutched a hand to my face.

"Don't speak to me like that."

"Whatever, I'm not the one who murdered their entire clan because you 'felt like it'."

At that he slammed me against the wall, hand at my throat.

"Lets not forget the little leaf _bitch _who killed helped kill her friends, killed the Hokage! Why you might as well be in the same league as Orochimaru! There is no one left thanks to you. Your friends will not come to save you! My brother is not coming back to sweep you off your feet and save you. ALL DEAD! Nobody cares about you anymore! But you go and make a display like that in the dining hall, be civil!"

"Civil? You want me to be fucking civil?!"

"Get some manner -"

"Civil, with a bunch of murderers!? You want me to be fucking civil? You slap me! You degrade my rights! You take advantage of me! And you want me to be civil!? You're a sick deluded assho -"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He screamed right back with much more intensity. His right fist glowed with blue chakra, I closed my eyes, and he was going to kill me, for sure.

I flinched at the smashing of wood, but no hurt came to me. When I reopened my eyes, Itachi had fled to the adjoining bathroom, crashing the door closed behind him, but had left a huge hole in the wall, just beside my head.

I let out a huge breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I sank to the floor for the second time today.

I couldn't stop repeating his words in my head.

"_There is no one left thanks to you. Your friends will not come to save you! My brother is not coming back to sweep you off your feet and save you. ALL DEAD! Nobody cares about you anymore!"_

Because there was nobody, no one to care…

It was just me and the wolves now…

* * *

_R &R, Ask me any questions you may have..._

**Next chapter changes POV, it goes with a new 'part' system I'm going to useee. **

**it's from Itachi's Pov. the part is called : **_Blurred. as _**the first part (Chapters 1 through 8) were themed : **_Numb. _**And are from Sakura's Pov. **

**There will be a third part and will be in third person, titled : **_Promise. _

And DW! it will still all be in the same storrrryy, right here.

NArky Outteee!

OMG I MET BATMAN!


	9. Akatsuki Code

**I would like to make note of a few things a friend of mine has pointed out, my answer, Itachi yells because he's OC for a reason…Itachi got mad when she referred to him as a Konoha Ninja because he's touchy and Sakura had acted like she knew him. And Deidara doesn't say 'un' its more 'yeah' and yeah… (Crap it's rubbing off.) **

**And Itachi is OC for a reason, a dramatic reason…But he's not likely to get all lovey-dovey like other ItaSaku stories. **

_E.G:_

"_Itachi I love you!" _

"_OMG! SAKURA I LOVE YOU TOO!" _

**Not. Going. To. Happen.…**

**It'll just get sexy…Itachi style.**

**I apologise if you thought I was screwing up Itachi's character. **

**Since the last chapter I bought the rights for Naruto…but then lost them in a takeover scheme……..Sadly I do not own Naruto…**

**And another note: **

Black half Zetzu will be in**: bold**

White half Zetzu will just be: normal.

And uhhh I'm starting to use affixes like –kun, -chan, -san, -sama. Got a problem? REVIEW!

Moving on… (I just had to get all that off my chest.)

**Remeber this will be in ITACHI's Pov until further notice.**

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Part Two: Blurred.

-------------------

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Amnesia.

Chapter Nine: Akatsuki Code.

------------------------------------

_So many rules. _

From the first breath I took, rules were my life. Structure was crammed down my throat. Trained to kill from the moment I could walk.

_Genin at six, Chuunin by eight, ANBU leader by twelve and s-class missing ninja by thirteen. _

I really can't believe when the killer they created, turned around and killed them, they were surprised. _Like fucking Frankenstein…_

I was programmed like this, built to be a killer, not to feel emotions. _Not to love, not to feel… _

I sat at the back of the manor, on the back step, watching the rain.

_I was trained to have control…_

I sucked in a breath of the tobacco, letting it assault my senses.

_I was trained to control my anger…_

I hadn't always smoked, I had only started a few months ago, just before the night my foolish brother had challenged me. And here I sat, the 'Uchiha Prodigy', feeling far from 'legendary' or strong for that matter. I felt dampened; emotions that I'd built up were starting to spill and overflow like a bucket full of water.

_I didn't like killing…I certainly didn't enjoy beheading that boy today…_

But the boy was weak…and rule number one was never _ever _break orders.

I looked at the way my fingers jutted out at an angle slightly; they had never healed right after they'd been broken more times than I can care to remember.

_Rule number two, never piss of Pein, or have your fingers broken or arm or leg or, if your particularly irritating, beheading. _

I have never suffered beheading, obviously, and I never wanted to.

_Rule number three, don't tell Sakura anything…_

If the leader finds out I told her about the war, he'll snap me in half. We couldn't have Orochimaru looking in on our plans; we needed the element of surprise.

_I can believe I let it slip…_

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Akatsuki was a name to be feared, a mysterious group of powerful misfits who didn't go together at all, a most unlikely group; A walking pot plant, the walking fish stick, the more than insane artist, the puppet obsessed recluse, the five year old child trapped in a man's boy, paper girl, master of obscene language and me, the half blind mess of a person; all of us with only one thing in common, power.

But most feared of all was Pein, not because of raw incredible power, because of mystery because his status was almost god like, he was respected, even still by his own village, even though he had severed his loyalties.

But I wondered, because you sever your loyalty, do you sever you relationships, your feelings to those people?

"What is wrong Itachi-san? Tobi thinks you need a hug." Said a voice that should have belonged to a child.

"Touch me and you die _Tobes._"

Tobi chuckled at the nickname I had called him many a time.

"You don't mean that Itachi-san." Tobi sat down on the step beside me. "Is Itachi _smoking!?_" He spoke as if it was some sort of god awful sin.

"Yes, I am it seems. You want one _Tobes?_"

"No! Tobi would never smoke, never!!"

"Come on live a little -" I was interrupted by the shrill screams as part of the manor exploded.

I was confused as Tobi began clapping. "Sounds like Deidara-senpai found Tobi's trap."

"You blew up his room?"

"Hai!"

"You fucking idiot!" I exclaimed as the gravity of his actions were realized. "Do you want to give away our location?"

"Tobi is sorry, just wanted to have some fun. It was just a flour bomb." Tobi raised his hands to cover his head instinctively.

"I'm not going to hit you Tobi." Tobi looked up at me, relaxing a little.

"Thanks Itachi-sa -"

"Don't thank me yet. Go help Hinari clean it up, now!"

"Aww…" Tobi stood and slumped like a sulking hurt child. "Okay Itachi-san. I hope you aren't still angry at Sakura-chan."

"Why is that Tobi?"

"You hurt her, she is upset. Me thinks Sakura-chan was not quite built for this lifestyle. She lost everything, Tobi would be sad too."

Any normal person would have agreed, but I figured a simple 'Hn' would suffice for now. Tobi smiled a goofy unseen grin and walked away in the direction of Deidara's bedroom.

"Deidara-sempai must look so silly." I heard Tobi comment to himself as he strolled away.

I focused back on the little pink haired kunoichi that was undoubtedly either crying her heart out or sleeping. _She was a strange little creature… _She had cried out 'stop', Zetzu would have killed her if Raiu hadn't dragged her off.

I yawned and realized just how badly I needed sleep. That boy had worn me out, my head hurt, my eyes stung. I crushed the remainder of the cigarette under my sandal and went back inside.

-------------------------

She had fallen asleep on the floor, curled up behind the door. _She truly was an odd creature…_I would have preferred not to wake her, but I couldn't leave her there; if the door was thrown open in the morning (by Tobi.) she would be crushed, and an awake kunoichi was better than a grumpy crushed one.

I cautiously grasped her waist and pulled her into a hold, carrying her back to the bed. She was rather light, but not for long… within a month or so her belly would swell. But with that her stealth skills would deteriorate, making it hard for her if she tried to chance escape. I slowly tugged off her sandals and pulled the covers up; she uttered a soft sigh in her sleep at the change in temperature.

I was more worried about the mood swings I would be subjected too, I still vividly remembered the woman Deidara had dragged back with him, after finding out she was pregnant with his child, a year or two back. One minute she'd be screaming at everyone and the next she'd be sobbing in apology. And she had this insatiable hunger for lemons; it was most unusual to watch someone eat an entire lemon like an apple.

After the child was born Deidara moved the woman and the baby girl down to the village. Pein had ordered it; he didn't want non-ninja children running about the organization. In fact Pein had expressed on many occasions that he hated children, _very much _so that he never talked about his younger years.

_Rule number four, never ask Pein about himself _ever. Tobi did that last year and ended up scrubbing all the bathrooms with a toothbrush.

I watched the kunoichi's little sleeping form; she slept rather delicately as if someone had arranged her pose like a piece of artwork, a statue. However the ninja clothing she wore, whilst was surely comfortable, wasn't particularly becoming on her, it was many sizes to big.

_Perhaps Hinari could…No! Even if I had clothes fitted for her, she'd just grow out of them within a couple of months…_

_Whatever…_

I needed sleep but that mind talk wouldn't shut up, the reasoning, talking, I felt like fricking Zetzu. I pushed off my sandals and climbed into the bed, careful not to wake the kunoichi. A woman's wrath was worse that being subjected to Pein's wrath. Pein would just break your bones or kill you. However, a woman kills you slowly with words and complaints and crying and guilt tripping, the worst form of torture.

---------------------------------------------

I jumped awake at a loud 'CRASH!' Gladly, Sakura still slept, I didn't need an angry woman yelling at me as well as the elephants that were stampeding down the hall. The sun was rising; the pale orange glow that filled the room told me so.

"Hey Itachi! Wake the fuck up!" I gathered that the resident cusser was back…

"Hidan-san! Don't talk like that! Tobi's ears bleed!"

"Shut up!"

"Don't yell. Tobi can already hear you! Tobi is right next to you!"

"Idiot…Itachi-san, get up, Pein-sama has returned, he wants to see you." Said the reasoning voice of Zetzu, and only Konan and Zetzu we're able to call the leader his first name without having their legs broken.

_Rule number five; never call the leader, aloud, by his first name. _

"But…" I began as I opened the door. "I thought I was banned." I rubbed my eyes in the vivid lighting of the hall and the tall figures that crowded my doorway…Hidan's cloak was ripped in various places with splotches of dried blood.

_Pein knows I told Sakura about the war…I'm going to have my legs broken…_

"He needs to speak to you." Zetzu eyed the sleeping pink mass that _still _slept soundly. "**_Now_**"

"I can't leave her alone…"

"**I'll volunteer**…" Zetzu said his eyes lustful.

A flour covered Tobi interjected, leaping in front of Hidan and Zetzu. "Tobi will look after Sakura-chan! Tobi will prove he is valuable member, Tobi is sorry for prank on Deidara-sempai."

_Tobi may be insane but he knows how to protect someone._

"Yes Tobi, you may watch over Sakura in my absence."

Zetzu shot me a murderous glare as if to say '_I hate you.' _

"Fucking whatever, I'm fucking tired…Let's get this 'partner' thing fucking over already Zetzu." Hidan followed Zetzu down the hall that was still blotched with flour.

Tobi was thankfully inside my room and out of ear shot from Hidan's 'ear bleeding words'.

_New partner? But Kakuzu…_

"What happened to Kakuzu?" I called after them.

Tobi hung his head sadly. "Kakuzu-san…poor Kakuzu…" He said forlornly.

"He got himself fucking killed." Hidan yelled back.

"Hidan–san! My ears are -"

"If you say your ears are bleeding one more time, I'll cut them off." I was getting sick of his proclamations of bleeding ears _every _time some one swore.

"Yes Itachi-san! Tobi get right on-to watching duty now! Right away! Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will do his -"

I walked off; I would explode if I had to listen to him one more time.

_Kakuzu died? _

-------------------------------------

I was far from prepared to what ever was inside the meeting room, for one Pein would be in there, he would undoubtedly be mad, he would be feeling cruel, murderous, he would be…

"Konan-chan, why did you not tell me this?"

"I…I…"

"Speak up Konan; this is not a time for nerves… I wish you had told me, I would have never brought you on the mission had I known. I am disappointed in you, we are in a war, and you have endangered yourself."

"I am sorry Pein-sama, I am a disgrace."

Pein took a deep sigh. "You are not a disgrace. I should have paid more attention to you, how far along are you?"

_What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On._

"Four months…"

"You are dismissed from missions, you may handle the recruits from now on."

"But Pein-sama -"

"Konan, I will not have you continue missions, it is dangerous, I will have someone replace you."

"I understand."

"Go and rest for the day, you must be exhausted. We will talk later in my chambers, _tonight._"

I had never heard Pein talk with such emotion before…like he cared… I practically leapt into the shadows as Konan exited the room and swished past me in a swathe of Akatsuki colours and blue, it was impossible to tell she had a lithe form under the cloak. Her face looked sad, her eyes drooped.

"Itachi? Are you planing to hide in my hallway or come inside?"

"Leader-sama!"

"I am not stupid; did you think I would not notice your chakra signature?"

"No. I did not mean to eavesdrop, I was just -"

"Just…?"

"You requested my presence."

"Indeed I did. Take a seat." He lazily motioned the seats around the circular table.

"Is there something wrong with Konan -"

_Rule number six, never ask Pein a question involving a certain blue haired kunoichi._

"She is drained from our mission, the situation in Fire Country is worse, Orochimaru has secured the border, and our recon mission was unsuccessful."

"You found no survivors?"

"We received rumour there is a small outcrop of them locked away in a training area outside Konoha, Akagahara."

"I took the Chuunin exam there."

"Then you would understand how heavily trapped it is. We need to make contact with these people, perhaps they may help us. My sources tell me Rock Country is lost to Orochimaru, they are on his side. We may need to call upon our friends in Wave, Orochimaru's army is powerful, most of them genetically enhanced, and it's still growing."

"Why did you call upon me?"

"With Kakuzu's death I will not have Hidan rushing out with a new partner, it would risk the mission, you will go in his place, and Kisame will join you."

"Who is going in place of Konan?"

"Sasori."

"When are we leaving?"

"Two days, we need time to mourn our loss and initiate these new recruits; I trust you have done a wise job in choosing."

"Yes, leader-sama."

"What is this talk of the Nadare girl who beat you?"

"Beginners luck."

"Her bloodline limit is powerful, but you should have been able to beat her, what happened?"

"I haven't been feeling up to standard of late."

"You can not allow it to affect your objectivity in the field, if it was a really battle you would have died or been hurt." Pein sighed before continuing. "If you are not feeling up to the mission, I will have someone come in your place; Hidan and Kisame are alright together aren't they?"

"I'm feeling fine -"

"Neither you or I believe that. Go see Kenshi, he will check you over. If you feel better by the time we leave, you may come, but do not think you will be coming along sick and distracted."

_Great…_

_Time to go be told I'm unfit…_

_But that was Akatsuki code…_

_Rule number seven, any unfit members will be discharged from the organization…with a choice of staying as a worker or death… to protect the secrets of the Akatsuki._

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**Authors note**_: Okays. Tell me what you think._

_I'm going to make a deal with you reviewers and readers who don't review (You know who you are) I want 10, TEN!, reviews before I submit another chapter.._

_I need feedback, please tell me what you think…Complaints? Questions? Corrections? Problems with understanding the plot? You have no friends? Then review the darn story, I promise I will write back… and I usually explore those people's profiles and read their stories…_

_See you next chappy!_


	10. Uchiha Curse

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_Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take – but the number of moments that take our breath away. _

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Amnesia.

Chapter Ten: Uchiha Curse.

---------------------------------

Life never ceases to amaze me, how one moment your heart can soar, and the next, your heart plummets into a deep dark depth. But what is life, what is reality? Perhaps this is a dream, a fantasy of reality that we cannot touch. Many a man has gone chasing these wonderful fantasies, only to be rewarded with wonderful madness.

Many of those men belonged to the Uchiha clan, for, to most, it is a known fact that all who posses the bloodline limit of the Uchiha with eventually either go blind or blind and insane, thus the '_Uchiha Curse_'. I was lucky to still have some sort of handhold on reality.

But, however, apparently, this curse was _not _well known to Kenshi, and the gullible idiot preferred to use more traditional methods of testing.

"I can see fine." I complained as he swung that infernal light back and forth between my left eye and my right, if the idiot was in anyway an optometrist, he would have noticed that my pupils didn't respond normally to light.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now let me out of here!"

"No I still have to check your blood pressure, your temperature, your heartbeat, a blood test -"

"_I'm fine._" I snapped in a voice akin to a growl.

One thing I hated more than anything was feeling like a test pet, thus a furthering hate for sitting in a white medical room surrounded by metal instruments, the air smelling of bleach and cleaning products. I hated having someone in my personal space, especially if they were planning to probe my ears or wave a flashlight in my eyes.

"At least let me check your burns; you're still susceptible to infection."

_If you don't let me go you'll be susceptible to beating with medical implements._

"No."

"Itachi-san this is ridiculous, I know you don't like this room but avoiding medical procedures is -"

"NO! TOBI WILL DIE! TOBI SAYS NO! UNHAND TOBI NOW!" yelled the voice of the one and only, insatiably curious and mischievous, third person talking, more than slightly insane Akatsuki, Tobi.

_Saved by the bell…_

Kenshi left in a flurry, opening to door to let a screaming, partially restrained and bleeding Tobi inside. There was many things on the list of 'Tobi's hates', somewhere in the top five was getting stitches. (Number one was bathing.).

Of course by the time Raiu and Kenshi had Tobi restrained I was already out the window, inhaling that blissful fresh oxygen that was free of acid and chemical smells, running free of metallic objects prodding my ear canals and needles extracting blood.

But alas, my carefree moment was gone in a flash, for if the only trusted watch guards were in the infirmary (one holding down the other whilst he screamed), who was watching Sakura?

----------------------------------------

Thankfully she had not turned to mush and/ or been eaten by Zetzu. Nor had she been beheaded by Pein for an offhanded comment, nor had she been sadistically tortured by Hidan. No, they we're too busy engaging in a highly illegal poker game. I decided against asking them, when money was involved you never spoke (especially if enough money was on the table to earn a few drinks in the village.) But it looked like they we're playing over money stolen from Kakuzu's room.

Outside, Deidara was corrupting the new recruits with maddening talk of art as they were forced to dig a grave; a body covered by a white cloth lay on the lawn beside them. Hinari, whom I decided was a very strange girl, was still cleaning blotches of flour from the hall across from Deidara's room; it looked as if he had left his door open when it exploded.

"Where is Sakura?"

Hinari squeaked in surprise, she mustn't have heard my approach. "Sa-Sakura-san is sleeping."

I stepped over the girl, continuing down the flour blotched hall and into my bedroom.

Not was she naked nor was she begging for my touch (regrettably), but she was most definitely _not_ sleeping. She sat on the window sill pooling her attention on the well worn green leather book she held, it remained shut as she attempted to pull it open.

If I had belonged to anyone else, I wouldn't have minded. But it was the fact that it was _mine _and had spent the last two years hidden in the dark messy depths of my closet. And she was _touching _it, I felt violated.

"What the_ hell_ do you think you're doing?!"

With my words she whirled around in shock and stared at me like a deer caught in the headlights, _as _she fell unceremoniously on to the floor with a 'thud'. The book slid across the floor before hitting the wooden base of the bed.

"I-I...I..." It seemed she was having trouble forming a coherent word.

I scooped up my leather book, my heart sinking as I found the edge had been dented from its escapade. I had always taken care of my almost ancient book; it had been in my family for over a century.

"How _dare_ you think you have the right to touch my things!"

She still stared at me like I held a knife to her heart.

"Speak up! Don't just sit there! Answer me!"

I wasn't sure what to do when she stood and began taking unsteady steps towards me; I'd never had someone not have even the faintest inkling of terror towards me. Should I run or continue to stare with a dumb look on my face? I tried to remain stoic, but it was hard with her intoxicating presence so near. All I could hear was the blood pumping in my ears and all I could_ feel_ was the warm air about me.

"What are you…?" I trailed off as she reached up and touched my left cheek with her fingertips. When her little fingers returned to my vision they were smeared with blood, _my blood. _Then her emerald eyes seemed to shimmer with an emotion somewhat resembling sympathy.

"Your eyes are bleeding…" she whispered softly.

Indeed they were. I could feel it on my cheeks as it leaked from my eyes and dribbled down my face. My vision was tunneling, clouding up with blackness. My head was throbbing, sharp pains in my temples the only thing I began to feel. And consciousness was fading into the same abyss my vision was in.

"Are…you okay?"

I could only hear her vaguely; it was hard to hear anything over the rush of blood in my ears. My legs felt like they were made from melted butter.

_Is the floor getting closer? _

"Itachi!"

"I…thought…I…t-told…you…to…"

"To what?"

"I…told…y-you, call…me…sir…"

-------------------------------------------------

"Itachi? Wake the fuck up!" Vaguely I could sense someone prodding my side. "ITACHI! Get up we don't have time for this shit! You can nap later."

"Don't wake him. He needs to rest his eyes -"

"Fuck, girly, who said you could talk?"

"I'm a medic I know wh -"

"And I suppose you know that all fucking Akatsuki members are required to attend a fucking funeral of a fellow member if he or she gets themselves killed like a fucking idiot!"

"I'm not an Akatsuki member am I?! I'm a prisoner! Get out before you wake him up!"

"But -"

"Get out now!"

"What-fucking-ever."

"Asshole." She mumbled as the door slammed shut behind Hidan.

"Don't talk like that." I whispered hearing Sakura cuss.

"You're awake!" She said with a hint of surprise. "Go back to sleep you need rest." Her voice chided, hands pushing my shoulders back down.

I opened my eyes

_I can't see._

"Take the bandages off!" I demanded, grasping her little wrist to stop her escaping.

"I -"

"Take them off damn it!"

"You -"

"Take them off or I'll kill you."

"Itachi!" She squeaked as my grip tightened to a crushing pressure. "You're not -"

"I'm not well enough? Fucking take the bandages off!"

"Itachi, you're not wearing any bandages."

"What…"

"You're blind." She whispered.

_Fuck. _

-------------------------------------------------------------

If hadn't experienced life changing situations, I might have despaired. And had I not been a ninja trained not to feel, to suppress emotions, I might have cried. I may have wanted to be held had I had someone to hold dear.

"Today we mourn the death…" Pein's voice began to drone. I'd listened to this speech a hundred times; a hundred times I'd had to look at their rotted stinking corpses in the twilight glow.

At least now I couldn't see Kakuzu's body, and judging by the sound of it, Sakura's squeaks of disgust and terror, it had been a reasonably grotesque sight. I was surprised when I felt one of her little hands fist in the material of my shirt; her body was warm against my side, a body so much smaller than mine.

A body I'd never get to see properly.

I couldn't see but it forced me to focus on what I could hear, what chakra signatures we're about me, the smells. I could hear Sakura's cries, the chirping of crickets indicating the sun had set. But the most prominent sound was the dull thuds as, I assume, Kakuzu's body parts hit the earth of the grave. Nobody had told me how badly his body was damaged or how he'd died.

When Sakura buried her face in my shirt, making noises akin to a sob, I spoke up to her.

"What's going on?"

"He's…in…bits." She whispered.

"From decomposition?"

"Not natural, He's rotted…apart."

He couldn't have looked worse than the last recruit that died on a mission, he had resembled a white gray mess of sludge, the smell had been awful, he'd only been dead a week but something in the poison used to kill him rotted away his flesh and bones in mere days.

"As Kakuzu's partner, Hidan you will be the one to bury him, hoping that Kakuzu may achieve a calm place to rest in peace."

"Woo-fucking-hoo." Hidan grumbled as I figured he would have been handed a shovel. "How can you people believe in this 'rest in peace' shit?"

"**Just bury him already. I have money to spend.**"

I heard Hidan mumble something along the lines of 'cheating bastard' and 'ugly fucking pot plant'.

"Kakuzu has dedicated his fortune to the good of the organization, in hope that we may -"

"Like hell Kakuzu would 'dedicate his money' the greedy bastard would have wanted to be fucking buried with the shit."

"**Keep shoveling.** Have some respect for the dead."

"I'm not the one who cheated to fucking steal a dead man's winnings."

"**I'm not the one who betted them. It was your own bad luck.**"

"Shut up you two, this is a funeral for Kami's sake!" That was the first thing Konan had spoken since I had seen her earlier on in the morning, _when I could still see. _

Apparently Tobi knew it was bad karma to speak at funerals, so Hidan could swear all he wanted without any speech of 'my ears are bleeding!", either that or Tobi was still calm from the sedatives Kenshi would have given him, Deidara had attacked Tobi with the shovel when he wouldn't shut up.

"We shall all watch, _in silence_, and pray that Kakuzu reaches a resting place."

"I'm not shutting up! I don't believe in this stupid fucking resting shit! We could have sacrificed him to Jashin while he was still alive! This is fucking bul -"

"**Do you want to join Kakuzu?**"

"I'm immortal you dick wad!"

"**Doesn't mean you can't feel pain**…**I am feeling a little hungry**."

"Don't you even fucking think about eating me! I will gut you from the inside out."

"The quicker you shovel the quicker it's finished. **And maybe then I'll consider not eating you**."

"Nobody is eating anyone." Pein snapped. "Now shovel! In silence!" Pein added when Hidan grumbled.

--------------------------------------------

"Now let's make like a tree and get the fuck out of here!" Hidan exclaimed as he finished scooping the earth over Kakuzu's grave.

I stood silently as everyone said their final words and scooted off back inside the manor. Sakura still grasped my shirt, as if she wanted to guide me.

"Let go of me." I said as she began to lead me back inside.

I wasn't going to let her think she was doing some good deed by helping me like a charity case, I'd been walking the halls of the Akatsuki manor with poor eyesight as long as I could remember. _This was my home _and I remembered each hallway, each stair. I could walk the halls in the dark; I could certainly walk the halls in blindness.

"But -"

"I'm not a cripple, I can walk just fine." I went and sat on a rock that had always inhabited the space underneath a dormant cherry blossom tree.

"I don't think you're a cripple, I was just trying to -"

"Help? I don't need help."

"Yes you do. You're blind -"

"I am _not _blind."

"Denying the fact will not make it -"

I snatched her wrist and gripped it tightly. "You will not breathe a word of it or you and your baby will die."

"My…lips are sealed." She whispered, I could almost 'see' the fear in her eyes. I released her wrist and she, surprisingly, sat beside me.

I sat and listened to the night for a while, forgetting her presence completely. Chancing a shot with my Sharingan I could sense an owl watching a small mouse scurry across the yard.

"Turn your Sharingan off now!" She exclaimed like a mother berating a child.

"Why should I, I can't damage my eyes anymore."

"You'll make your eyes bleed again; eventually your Sharingan ability will fade too."

"All the more reason to use it while I can."

"You'll kill yourself!"

"Since when is that a bad thing." I snapped at her. "Why are you still here? I thought Raiu was offering to watch you for me while you ate."

"Because I was going to get you to rest, I need to perform some tests -"

"No tests."

"But I might be able to -"

"Unless you can reverse blindness I don't want to know about it."

"…Nothing can reverse blindness." She whispered.

-------------------------------------

In bed that night I imagined the rays of moonlight coming in through the windows, casting shadows about the room, while it filled other parts with an eerie white moonbeam glow. I imagined that I could see the brown owl that sat outside on a tree branch and made tell-tale 'hoots'. It was strange not to hear yells or cries or arguments, instead all I could hear was the ambience.

Of course it was only quiet because almost everyone had shuffled off to the village to drink away Kakuzu's fortune; it had been awhile since we'd had any money for luxuries. And tomorrow morning I would be dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn for the initiation of the four new recruits. There they would be presented with their own cloak and ring, and for those who hadn't already, would scratch a line across their hi-ate, symbolic of severing their loyalty to that village.

Tonight I knew I would get no sleep. How can I sleep knowing I'll never see another dawn or sunset? How can I sleep knowing I'll never see another sunny day?

If I were a weaker man I might have cried, if I were a dim man I wouldn't have known that blindness was the second sign.

I plucked my leather book from the nightstand and tried to sneak out of the bed without waking the kunoichi. I just escaped tripping over as my feet twisted in the bed sheets. I struggled to identify those unmoving inanimate objects as of yet. Slowly and carefully, running my hand along the wall, I was able to find the closet.

Before tucking the book back away in its original hiding spot, I whispered a word of prayer to my mother, I would join her soon.

* * *

**GAsp!!!!! I won't be updating as often as I have to go back to school tommorrow, where they enjoy supressing my writing ability by cramming my head with useless information and cramming my bag full of homework. Wish me luck... ****Keep reviewing! Reviews give me the will to keep writing. And a big thanks to the ultra super special awesome people who reviewed! You guys/girls get a cookie. **

**And I apologise for Hidan's bad language...somebody should really make him eat soap. **

Imagine I had a shotgun. Imagine you stood six feet away. Imagine I said if you didn't review you would become a bullet-filled corpse. Imagine you reviewed :).


	11. Blood At Dawn

A/N: I think it's pretty obvious if its on then I don't own it

_**A/N: I think it's pretty obvious if its on then I don't own it! But I do own Raiu, and the recruits! And Sakura's baby, I own that too. Steal them and I'll chase you down and cut off your nipples! Ouch… 

* * *

**_

_I have seen peace; I have seen pain, resting on the shoulders of your name. I have seen blood; I have seen death, lived to see a lover's final breath. Do you see my guilt? Should I feel fine? Is the fire of hesitation burning bright? 

* * *

_

Amnesia.

Chapter Eleven: Blood At Dawn.

* * *

_I hadn't meant to come across their conversation or listen in, it was a mere coincidence. I was walking blindly through forests half drunk and Ta-da, I found myself outside Konoha. _

"_I know about your clan, but revenge? That won't make anyone happy. No one. Neither you, nor I." The teary eyed girl proclaimed. _

"_Just as I thought." He replied as if he was doing nothing more than washing the dishes, in that bored, calm tone. "I'm different from you all. I walk a different path than you guys. I tried to think that it was my path to do the things we've done up until now. My heart has decided on revenge in the end. That's my purpose in life. I can't become like you or Naruto." _

_This girl seemed defiant to stop my brother, even with her eyes full of tears she rushed forward. _

"_Are you going to choose to be alone again?! On that day, you taught me that solitude is painful! I understand that now. I have a family, and I have friends." The tears were beginning to form a puddle at her feet. "but if you're gone…To me It'll be the same as being alone!"_

"_From here on, a new path will open for all of us." _

"_I…! I love you so much! If you stay with me, I'll make sure you won't regret it! Everyday will be fun. We'll definitely be happy…" The puddle was expanding to a small ocean. "I'll do anything for you. So…please! Stay here! I'll help you with your revenge. I'll do something! So please stay here, with me!" the moon peered out from the clouds again, basking the pair in a bright glow. "If you won't stay…take me with you." _

"_You really _are _annoying." he said, for the first time cocking his head towards her. _

_Her eyes widened with shock, her little hands clutched over her heart as the words cut deep. She had proclaimed to do anything; he had thrown it back in her face with simple words. _

"_Don't leave!" She proclaimed as he began to amble away, hands in his pockets. "If you do…I'll scream!" She emitted a soft cry when his form flickered and snapped up behind her. _

"_Sakura…Thank you." _

_I wasn't surprised when he knocked her out, it was necessary for her own safety, but she never fell to the ground, he caught her. Shifting an arm underneath her legs, he carried the porcelain doll of a woman to the bench, lay her down carefully. _

_He watched her for many moments intently, then in a display I'd never thought he would express, he bent and kissed her forehead. _

"_I'm sorry Sakura." _

_Part of me was glad that he had learned to care, part of me was upset that he had strayed from his path. Without a backwards glance he continued on his way as if nothing at all had happened, as if he was taking a casual stroll, as if he were not going off to betray his village. _

"_Well done… little brother." _

I almost jumped, my senses flaring, waking me from my usual light sleep.

_At least I slept a little. _

I bristled with the realization that someone was cuddled against my front, a little arm draped over my hip, little legs intertwined with mine.

_I take back whatever I said about her being a neat sleeper. And how the hell did she manage to get this close...? The only way would have been…Oh Kami; I cuddled up with her too. _

It was a strange alien sensation; I had never had a woman cuddle me while I was sleeping. I had to suppress a small cry when her head rubbed against my chest in almost a cat like manner.

"You're so handsome Sasuke-kun." She murmured.

"Am I now?" I whispered. It was with those words she froze up; I could only imagine the shocked look on her face.

"Excuse me." She spoke in a hurt little voice. She bolted upright, and backed away swiftly, yanking herself forcefully from my grip.

"Itachi-san?" A hyperactive child's _voice _yelled through the door. "Tobi says wake up! It's almost dawn!"

* * *

"What'd ya fucking mean 'thou shalt not sacrifice thy partner to Jashin'." Hidan proclaimed with injustice. "Can't I even cut off her arms?"

"Read paragraph four." Pein replied bluntly.

"'Thou shalt' – what the fuck? Freak fish guy, what the fuck does that little piss –weak sentence say?"

Kisame snarled with irritancy, warning Hidan if he _ever _called Kisame that again, he would be skinned alive and cursed to live as a fleshy bloody immortal mess. And I had a small inkling that Kisame's reading skills were worse off than Hidan's.

"I believe it reads 'thou shalt not harm, disfigure, dismember, abuse, rape, bully, belittle, mislead, covert their religion without their consent and/ or eat them' -"

"What am I fucking allowed to do?"

"Work together for the good of the organization."

"What if she fucking bullies me?"

"That's highly unlikely Hidan."

"What if she like, tries to fucking stab me?"

"Then she shall be praised as a hero among Akatsuki, maybe even a medal…?"

Hidan muttered something obscene (Nothing new) before continuing with a phrase probably just as obscene. "Are you even fucking sure she's capable? I mean she looks like a fucking midget."

"Obviously you weren't present when she beat the living daylights out of Itachi." Sasori interjected in a voice that could be mistaken for almost enthusiastic, but of course, as enthusiastic as his monotone allowed.

Hidan snorted and muttered 'beginners luck." _Exactly! _Hidan took a deep breath before continuing with an attempted enigmatic tone. "'Thou shalt not engage in an intimate relation' – Pein-sama shouldn't you be punished, I thought you and Konan were fuck -"

Hidan's sentence was cut short when Pein thrust a kunai into his chest.

"You fucktard! Why would you -" Hidan cursed, ripping the kunai from his chest, blood staining his white robes.

"You are not to say such things; Konan is a respectable member of this organization."

"So you _are _fucking her." Hidan stated.

"Zetzu?" Pein said coolly.

"**Yes Pein-sama?**"

"Are you perchance feeling hungry?"

Before Zetzu could proclaim his hunger for Hidan (or chocolate babies), Deidara and Tobi were herding the recruits across the field.

_Of course, I could actually see _anything _but the Sharingan and sense of chakra signatures were extremely helpful in conjuring mental images of my surroundings. (I knew Deidara and Tobi were coming because I could hear their usual foolish drabble.) _

Raiu followed them across the field, before taking a place at my side.

"Are you participating in the ceremony?" I asked quietly, ignoring the fact that Pein was currently beating Hidan to a pulp by the yonder trees.

"No, I don't...think I can watch after what happened last year."

_Perhaps it had something to do with the 'spontaneous' combustion of two of the recruits._

"Indeed, it was rather off putting. Would you perchance go watch -"

"Sakura for you?" He finished for me. "She seems like a lovely girl."

"You are terribly out of place here." I muttered.

"We all are Itachi-san." I heard him murmur quietly.

"When I return from the ceremony, I would appreciate it if you examined her baby; I am concerned for its progress."

"She will do fine. She is healthy; the baby will too be healthy."

"Is Sakura-chan having a baby?" Tobi proclaimed, sounding surprised.

"Yes Tobi." Raiu replied calmly.

"Does that mean Tobi gets to be an uncle?"

"Not quite."

"What does it make Tobi?"

"I'm sure if you ask Sakura-chan politely, she may allow you to become the baby's godfather."

"Tobi is a godfather!"

_The words Tobi and father should never be used in the same sentence, _ever.

"I'm not sure that would be such a good idea." I spoke slowly. "I am the baby's uncle; I am the only living relative."

_The only living _sane _relative…_

"And to be a godfather you'd have to be able to be capable of caring for the child Tobi." I added. "And set a good example."

"Tobi _is _a good example! Tobi will be the best godfather ever!"

"Hey lollipop! Shove a fucking cork in it!" Hidan yelled out across the field.

"Hidan is just jealous of Tobi!"

"Why the fuck would I be jealous of a fucking lollipop freak like you?"

"My ears are -"

"Don't you fucking say 'my ears are bleeding' or I'll cut them off and shove them up your -"

"Sometime today we must get around to this ceremony!" Konan yelled over the squabble and the ruckus. "I'm not going to stand around waiting for you idiots to cut out your bickering. I was having a lovely sleep in -"

"With Pein." Hidan muttered.

"**What was that Hidan? You want me to eat you?**"

"TOBI SAYS QUIET!"

Everyone silenced when Tobi yelled; Tobi had never used his voice with a tone of anger, it was so quiet now it would have been possible to hear a mouse fart.

"Thank you Tobi, we have gathered before dawn so that we may extend our reach and induct four new members into our growing organization."

"More like shrinking…" Hidan muttered then cried out when Konan slapped him upside the head and threatened to something unpleasant to his manhood if he didn't shut up. "Alright…I'll shut up!"

"Recruits you have read and signed your induction papers?"

"Hai!"

"State your names."

"Kyu Nadare."

"Kamizura Anijuru."

"Edo Neizo."

"Gennou Jai."

"As the sun rises, bringing forth a new day, your ties will be severed and your loyalties shall lie with this organization. Kyu Nadare, step forward." Pein commanded with that same voice he had used at my induction, commanding yet bored.

_The things you do for family…Nothing is strange, I'm just doing what I need to do, to protect those whom I care for. _

I remember at my induction feeling distinctly _dead_, like my body was dead weight, my mind was dead weight, and I felt almost like a brick. It had only been five days after 'that' night that the Akatsuki had found me. I had been sleeping in some bushes behind an inn on the border of Fire and Oto.

Instead of them making me meet them at the rendezvous point, I was awoken by Raiu, only he had a little more hair then and minus a few scars.

"_Uchiha Itachi?" _

I had been too tired to respond or fight back or run from the stranger. I had just sat there as he extended a hand to help.

"_My name is Yashagoro Raiu; I represent people who can help you. Will you come with me?" _

I hadn't protested when he yanked me to stand and began leading me towards an inn. Finally _their_ words had taken over, that incredible numbness, like this was just some horrid dream.

"_It'll get better."_ Raiu had told me before knocking me out in the inn.

_Does it? Has it? _

"I hereby swear on pain of death my homage and fealty to the Akatsuki with bonds that even death cannot break, am I unable to continue my duties as a ninja, may I serve my purpose as a worker of the manor. If I am found guilty of crimes of conspiracy may I be hung until dead. On my life I thusly swear my loyalty for eternity."

"Present your left arm."

_This is the part were it's a lovely thing to be blind. _Of course it's not as bad as spontaneous combustion.

"_Dad only thinks about you." He whined to me. _

"_Are you disgusted with me?" I asked him. "It's okay; it's natural for ninja to live their lives being hated by others." _

"_I didn't feel like…" he trailed off, looking down at his bare feet. _

"_Being excellent has its own problems. If you have power you'll become isolated and eventually get arrogant. Even if we were everything they wished for." I slowed before smiling slightly. "But there are no other brothers like us in the world. I'll always be with you as the wall you should overcome, even if you were to hate me. _

"_That's what an older brother is for." _

The girl didn't scream when Pein cut her left arm open, just whimpered.

"Thusly on this blood you are inducted into the house of the Akatsuki, welcome."

_It hurts, but it gets better, eventually… but scars always remain. _

"Wear your ring proudly, Northern Star."

"_To obtain the Mangekyou Sharingan there is a special condition. Your closest friend…you must…kill him." The last words were lost on the wind. "Just as I did."_

I'd be lying if I told you I was proud of myself.

"_Foolish brother. If you want to kill me, then blame me. Hate me. And live on in shame. Run and run…cling desperately to life. Then, one day, come before me with the same eyes I bear now!" _

_But you couldn't do it, could you?_

It is difficult to define the reasons for our wrongs, but none of my actions have ever been for my own gain. _Did I feel bad? Yes a thousand times over. Did I cry? Not that I'd ever tell. _

The 'pride' of the Uchiha clan became the undoing and the runt became the avenger who lay in a pit of darkness, but not the darkness of death.

Life and death is far more complicated than that.

* * *

It felt so surreal, like this was happening to someone else, like it was nightmare that I could wake up from.

_But you're never waking up. _

It's like I'm wearing bandages over my eyes, and I can just take them off.

_But they're not coming off. _

"Itachi-san are you joining us for cake, yeah?"

"Deidara, it's not even seven."

"So? Cake is cake yeah?"

"I'll pass."

"Suit yourself."

_To be blind is to be completely alone, to be in the dark without a soul about. _

"Itachi, I wish to speak to you." Pein said, halting my steps toward the house. "Walk with me."

"Of course Leader-sama."

Once we were well into the forest, leaves crunching underfoot, Pein spoke once more.

"You avoided your medical testing…again."

"I had errands to attend to." I lied.

"Do you take me for a fool Itachi?" Pein's tone was stoic, emotionless.

"No Leader-sama -"

"Then why do you lie so blatantly to me?"

"I do not -"

"Why do you see it fit to spend the entire morning with your Sharingan activated?"

"I wished to take in and memorize the chakra signatures of our new members."

"Itachi, if you're ever going to rise in our ranks, you may need to learn to become a better liar."

"Are you suggesting a promotion, leader-sama?"

"Not suggesting, more…offering."

"Are you serious leader-sama?"

"Extremely, I would like to take you on as my heir." _Oh dear god. _"I have not discussed this with anyone within the Akatsuki, but I am to retire once this war is over."

"You wish to name me as your successor?"

"Indeed, I chose you due to your ability to achieve."

"I have failed many things." _Like my life, my brother, my plans. _

"The more mistakes you have made, the less likely you are to make that mistake again Itachi. But time is catching up with me and soon I will become a useless tool to this organization."

"But surely you can still lead?"

"My first child will need all of my attention, as will Konan. This is not a place to raise a child and I've heard Waterfall country is nice in the winter."

_So that's what they were talking about. _

"I thought you had a dislike for children?" _Rather ironic actually. _

"Just other people's children, I feel differently towards something of my own flesh and blood, surely you feel the same?"

"But surely I would still need your guidance -"

"Tobi will be here to guide you."

"Pardon?" I requested hurriedly, not able to believe what I'd just heard.

"Tobi knows more about this organization than you or I."

"But you founded the organization -"

"Everybody lies, Itachi. To be a leader you have to be the best liar of them all."

"I'm surprised with you Raiu; you were always the first to race Tobi for the first slice of cake." I mocked the older man, because of course the man had never run, and not for cake either.

"I never leave my post." Raiu said calmly from his position outside my bedroom door.

"Like you did yesterday?" I shot back.

"That was a different case; Tobi was screaming about his cut after Deidara hit him with the shovel, I felt obliged to quiet him down in case he woke Sakura."

"That's _almost_ believable." I muttered, Pein had given me plenty of things to think about. "Speaking of Sakura, where is she?" I reached forward to open the door, but the tone in his voice stopped me."

"She's still asleep Itachi." He said with frightening urgency.

"When will she awake?"

"Soon enough." Raiu sighed. "How was the ceremony?"

"It was…uneventful." I could _feel _him staring at me. "Were you aware that Pein is retiring?"

"For many months now, I have known."

_Raiu, you are more than you let on. _

"I must leave you Itachi, I have matters to attend to, missions to help plan. The mission debriefing commences at two."

"But the baby -"

"You're going to have a nephew." He turned and stalked off in the direction of his beloved library where he would surely immerse himself in millennia's of writings.

_Bloody scholars…_

_Bloody liars…_

_Who_ do you trust in a world with no _real _stability? From the outside, it looks stable but from the inside it's crumbling and rotting with deceit, in a world where everyone wears a mask to hide their feelings, their soul, their true meaning and persona.

_But what did he mean by _'Tobi will be here to guide you'

What _is _Tobi?

_Tobi is insane, _I mused to myself. _And apparently much more involved in the Akatsuki than I thought. _

_Was _Tobi _the founder? And then lost his marbles like Deidara? _

So many questions…no answers...and to find them would mean death. _No doubt a painful one too. _

With a deft turn of the brass door knob it eased open and revealed nothing to me.

_Blindness is a curse. _

Never the less a chakra signature responded and flowed warmly from the woman on my bed, still fast asleep. And if I concentrated hard enough I could sense my nephew, that tiny chakra signature that held no amount of hate or deceit, nothing had yet corrupted him. _Yet…there was still plenty of time. _

He would be a savior, the only Uchiha without the pressure of binding away emotions or to be forced to hate a soul. He would grow to be a man, the first Uchiha not to be a wreck. Perhaps he would have children of his own one day, have a wife.

But as long as there is power and money there will be corruption, and to be of Uchiha blood means certain insanity, anger and either suicide or to be killed by another.

But…_but…_if he were to have no such knowledge of his heritage…

_Yes. _

If his Uchiha blood was never coaxed into full power…he would never know such a dizzying danger of power and survive a sane man.

_Perfect. _

And there is every chance I will never see him born…and no live Uchiha's will be left to coax it, and _if _an Uchiha emerges, Sakura would not be a fool and let them near.

For every death defying man knows in a world of vultures its best not to play dead.

* * *

_**A/N: **__I'm cutting it off here; it was going to be wayyyy to long otherwise. And I've deprived you lovely readers far too long. (I've been tired and sick and at school.) And I tried to give you a little bit of, as my sister would say, 'sexy time' at the start of the chapter. A thank you to my 'pre-reader' Witch-doctor, and a big thanks to the four lovely reviewers of chapter ten (As for the rest of you…still thank you.) _

_Please tell me what you think, feed back is lovely to get, good or bad, I want to improve. _

_(I don't think this chapter had much storyline but it revealed some plot if you look for it.) _

I'm not going to beg, but…, you see that little 'go' button below this? Yeah? It's just begging to be abused, go ahead, click it, and write about how the chapter made you feel, just like a Doctor Phil show…


	12. Tea Party Of The Damned

(A/N): Gomen nasai! I'm sorry it took so darn long to write. So you know, I've actually finished chapters 14 onwards to 17. 12 and 13 I had and still have major writers block. I went back to school :( More chapters will appear as I set about editing my junk.

Also, the chapter flits about and tells you parts of the story at different times. It may be painful to read, but you'll get through it alive…maybe.

* * *

_The cruellest lies are often told without a word; the kindest truths are often spoke but never heard. _

* * *

Amnesia

Chapter Twelve: Tea Party of the Damned

* * *

It truly was a strange day, for one, sitting in the same room as the devil himself. And I wasn't dead…yet. I had traded something, at the time, seemingly trivial for one last flutter of light. And at this time, I realized this life had never been my own.

The devil does not play fair.

* * *

After awkwardly surviving another one of Deidara's debriefing jokes, it became alarmingly certain that we would yet again be doing useless errands, instead of making advances on the force that threatened death from the south.

_Does he want us to play pretend and drink tea like nothing is wrong? _

'Those accompanying myself are Deidara, Sasori and Itachi. I apologise Zetsu but you would hardly be inconspicuous in a village of people -"

"Why is Konan not going?" Tobi piped up.

I thought he might tell the truth, but no.

"Someone must say behind in my stead."

I was mildly surprised; Pein was often partial to boasting. Konan was a powerful kunoichi; surely their child would control immense power. _But _it interested me, he was protecting her. He was ensuring Konan would not be harassed for the time we were gone, whether he did it consciously or not.

"Why aren't I fucking going!?" Hidan demanded, slamming his fist down on the table, jolting the surface slightly. Before anyone could remind him why, said reason cleared her throat less than subtlety.

"Ah, fuck." He cursed.

"We travel down to the village in Wave to meet the delegates, they are willing to join us, and they offer great support. We then make our way back through the mountain pass to avoid the army.

"Zetsu has found them travelling north, nin from Rock too. They are yet to discover the village."

"But what if they do!?" Deidara blurted with an anxious note. _Of course, _Deidara had both a wife and child to worry about.

"Then we shall aid their evacuation, you seem to doubt them Deidara, their ninja are trained well."

"Hardly!" Sasori blurted.

Sasori was still upset about the puppet of his they tampered with, causing it to explode.

"Get over it, un!"

"Shut up!"

"Make me, yeah!"

There was the sound of scuffling as no doubt the pair were climbing on to the table in hope to duel each other and prove who was better and right.

"**Cork it!**" Zetsu yelled over their juvenile bickering and echoed through the room. It was silent apart from their frantic shuffle off the table. "Do continue leader." He said in a much calmer, casual tone.

"Thankyou. As I was about to say, winter is coming early this year and we are consider -" Pein was abruptly cut off, and Zetsu was none to happy about it.

"We can't move early. The village needs us! We can't just -"

"**It would be wise if you discontinued your interrupting!**" The dark heated voice of Zetsu boomed and a murderous aura began to emanate from him like a bad smell. But it did little to diminish Deidara's bright, yet brain damaged spirit.

"We can't move -"

They sounded like a father telling their wining child they were moving. Zetsu being the two sided and more-than –slightly-green father. Pein the nonchalant seemingly calm mother and Deidara as the whiney immature child.

"**If your wife concerns you so, leave!" **

"It was not my choice to send them away to the village!"

"This is _not_ a place for women and children!" Pein roared his calm exterior finally shattering and refracting rage upon us all.

But of course, Pein had not thought his comment through. Immediately afterward, a chair went skidding back nosily and thudded against the wall.

"Konan! -" Pein rasped out, sounding near desperate. But no audible reply was heard except for the shock and hollow of a door slamming. If Pein were alone, I noted, I had no doubts that he would have chased after her in an instant. But he had a reputation and image to uphold, without that image of power his farce would fall and Akatsuki would be in ruin.

"Tobi will go check -"

"You will do no such thing. This mission is of high importance."

"But she is upset, Tobi must -"

"Do not concern yourself; I will speak with her after." I thought he'd finished, but as an afterthought added, "She has walked out disrespectfully and shall be punished."

"Hai, leader-sama. Tobi understands."

Deidara coughed unusually loud and muttered something almost audible as '_Sasori plays with dollies'. _With yet another clatter, Sasori had thrown himself across the table and from the groans; I gathered he was strangling the blonde.

I wondered vaguely if the Akatsuki was all it was cracked up to be. Evil, Zetsu had that down pat as with the murderous bit. We were supposed to be dark warriors that struck fear into hearts and conquered and maintained great powers.

If people were here, the pangs of fear would certainly be replaced with humour and greatly lessen the respect and mystery. As for warriors, all we had done so far was scout and hide up in the manor drinking tea. _Hardly a respectable thing for S-class ninjas to be doing_

And now we would be running another errand.

There was more thrashing and a cry as Deidara managed to pry Sasori's hands off his throat.

"Get off me, yeah!"

"As I have _been trying _to say, the mission needs to be accomplished quickly and without a hitch, the winter snows are coming soon. Raiu predicts we will be snowed in within a mere two weeks from the first snow, we will move to the other manor as soon as we return." Deidara was about to open his mouth, when, "Unless any of you are expert at hiking in snow we would be of absolutely no help to the village."

"But -"

"If you wish, I could arrange for Mina and her daughter to be moved to the nearest village." Pein suggested softly, his often icy manner melting to show a tiny refraction of the human inside him.

"Thankyou leader-sama!" Deidara blurted as he attempted to stay out of Sasori's death grip.

I liked the winter manor far better. It was more secure, larger, cleaner and virtually inaccessible unless you knew how. There was a lake for bathing and swimming, apt training grounds and weaponry stocks.

And it was currently a very _safe_ distance from Orochimaru, and a perfect place to _leave_ Sakura.

"We leave tomorrow at dawn, Zetsu will hand you the necessary co-ordinates and mission codes. I must take my leave and attend to business." _Like apologising to Konan profusely…_

But with all the hub-bub no one seemed to take care at his abrupt and hurried departure.

"**Listen up!**"

And now my problems were furthered, as Zetsu handed about mission documents (not so much handed as threw with enough force to give major paper cuts), while temperately ignoring the pair attempting to strangle each other and yelling profanities.

Not of how I would read such a document, but who I would have to ask to read said document to me. It was impossibility for me to make it look like I too struggled with reading, as did Hidan and Kisame, as I had often demonstrated reasonable reading skills before.

But, instead, I would just have to worm the words from others, like Raiu or Deidara.

I decided Raiu was too perceptive and would pick up on my plot either immediately or afterwards and then pressure as to why I had done such a thing. However, Deidara was no where near as perceptive and a reasonably good reader. I would approach him later. Until then there was the issue of training in the dark.

* * *

I had predicted it to be as awkward and as nerve wracking fumbling blindly in the dark through the halls of a new house.

This, in a sense, was exactly what I was doing. But to worsen the problem, this 'house' didn't have proper walls to feel along nor was it particularly safe; I was just waiting to step on a floor embedded shuriken.

Nevertheless once I had located the elusive straw stuffed dummy in the centre of the seemingly giant room and had become familiar with the difference. It became a simpler task.

Although I was pretty sure if another ninja was hell-bent on spilling my blood or of those around me, I would be quite useless. All I had to work with was noise and chakra signatures, both of which an elite ninja could easily cloak. The only thing I would be useful against was slow moving animals and perhaps a low level Genin or two.

I would be of no use in battle.

It was a common misconception that blind people could hear exceptionally better than those with the ability to see. I had been officially blind for almost twenty-four hours and I certainly did not feel that my hearing had improved. And all those years spent with blurred vision had not improved my hearing at all. _If anything it's getting worse, Deidara_

Although, in a sense, my hearing had enhanced because I had no visual to overwhelm my senses or rely on and to not go mad I was forced to trace each tiny creak and crack back to its discernable origin. And I knew I would have to eventually rely solely on hearing while walking. Sharingan would have to be saved for battle.

Much like a bat, I fixed intently on the thuds and echoes produced by my kunai as they struck, missed or nicked the dummy.

And of course as my fortune would have it, I made the fatal mistake of slumping against the only fully intact wall in exhaustion. I was so tired that at the time it had seemed a normal thing to do.

However being stabbed in the arm by a shuriken was an exceptionally sobering thing to experience, but no where near as painful as someone attempting to skin you alive nor being burnt alive. Instead of crying out, it was decidedly a waste of energy, I settled for a flinch and a very swift step away from the wall.

That swift step also happened to add to my list of unfortunate events so far today as I had jerked it while stepping away, tearing the wound further. I tried to gauge the size of the tear with my left hand, at the same time unsuccessfully clotting the blood. And secretly for the sake of my mental health, I was glad I was not wearing my ceremonial robes, for surely I would never hear the end of it from Konan. The woman had a mouth on her, and a rather intimidating presence when she wanted to; she was far from a meek woman. Surely to withstand Pein she would have to be.

It would be a pain to convince someone to fix the cut without having to be quizzed about how I had cut myself. I had often made a point of remarking when another had made a foolish mistake, I was sure that Raiu would make a point of doing the same to me.

Kenshi was as thick as five planks but was a blabber mouthed coward and was awful at keeping a secret. I'd then be tormented for weeks on end about a foolish matter. But what was worse off is those with enough intelligence to realise there is something wrong with me. Raiu would figure it out by himself, Kenshi would be bullied into to telling someone about it like Pein and Pein would figure it out too. However I already had the strongest feeling that he _had _already figured it out. He was not considered a god for nothing.

Besides making a half assed job of healing it myself, asking Sakura was the only other option. She had both a motive to be silent and to help me; her child was at great risk without my help. Perhaps we were not on talking terms; she could easily be bent and moulded, much like Deidara's clay…pliable yet deceptively precarious and unpredictable. Yet even as volatile as she was, her presence was soothing but still nevertheless uncomfortable. And she was undoubtedly as uncomfortable with me, as I was with her.

* * *

The walk along the pass was slow and painstaking. It was cold and snow was falling already. Until we were past the mountains, we would walk on foot. Apparently there was a carriage taking us there once we reached the roads. We were posing as merchants, meaning we would have to keep up a henge at all times.

Deidara was less than pleased with what he had to appear as, and he made such a ruckus about it, I was sure the snow on the peaks was going to tumble down and crush us all.

"_I am not going to be a girl!" _

"Don't make me wait." Sasori snapped, growing impatient.

"You don't have to pose as a girl!"

"But it suits you."

"Say that to my face, asshole!"

"What did you just call me? You piece of shi -"

"Cut it out the pair of you! I swear you two argue like a married couple."

Their lips were completely sealed after that, the trip was walked in silence…until we reached the road. This was another time I was both disappointed and grateful that I was blind. It would have been extremely amusing to see Deidara as a girl.

I was glad that I was posed as an old man who was supposedly blind. Sasori was posed as my grandson and Pein was Sasori's brother. Deidara was Sasori's wife. I figured Pein had set that one up almost mockingly for their erratic behaviour. I figured Pein had allowed me to be the blind man as I could hide my sharingan underneath blackened glasses.

Once completely disguised and transformed, we boarded the carriage and assumed the role of the Hanaka family. The _Hanaka _family was travelling to Wave in search of wealth. Deidara still didn't understand why it was necessary to have him posing as a girl. Pein had explained that if we were pulled up on suspicion, people were always soft for girls and old disabled men. I almost choked when Pein said he'd chosen our roles to play out fittingly.

He knew.

_Shit. _

* * *

The trip to Wave had been lengthy and irritating, Sasori and Deidara bickering like a married couple the entire time. Pein had been silent except for when he was silencing them. I spent the entire time attempting to sleep, but the road was bumpy and it was frustrating that I hit my head on the window each time the carriage jolted. I'd avoided talking to Pein about anything, he knew.

My sharingan was paining me; it was irritating my eyes, even as it was inactive. I could feel that power leaving me. It wouldn't be long now.

I was confused as to why he had not cast me out the mission or killed me already. I tried my hardest to focus on worrying about my ultimate fate, but as fate would have it I could not stop thinking about the conversation I'd had with the pink kunoichi as she'd healed my arm yesterday afternoon.

For one her chakra had an incredibly soothing undertone to it, even when she was angry. She was so soft compared to what I had been projected to the last decade of my life. Yesterday, once she had gotten over her initial anger over my intrusion, her attitude had changed completely. She'd dropped her chopsticks down with her bowl of food and was instantly at my side. She tore at my cloak, and I almost sighed at the beautiful feeling of her calming chakra stroking my wound. There was no way to express the decadency of the feeling, it was fantastic.

She had not asked me how I had obtained it, nor questioned me. But then again, I did not know if she was trying her hardest to keep a straight face, or making obscene gestures at me either. All I had was chakra.

Yet she grew upset when I mentioned her baby, referring to the babe as _him_. I would have thought that Raiu would have woken her to check the health of her baby, but apparently not. Yet I still could not fathom why she was now becoming so worked up about the mention of the baby's gender.

Before I could question her state of distress, she was crying and bolting for the bathroom.

When we arrived at the destination my thoughts for Sakura were lost, a most unusual guest was there to greet us.

I would recognise that suppressed chakra anywhere, especially when he was crying out in delight. Sasori and Deidara took no notice that the man 'Yuu' was in fact Tobi. He must have been well disguised. Yet none of us acknowledged his presence. I kept silent as we were lead into a hotel of sorts, and I was greatly thankful that my disguise must have posed me as an extremely old man, I'd been lead upstairs by 'Yuu'. But how on earth had he gotten here before us? My head was spinning with millions of questions.

When I was shown to my room separately, I noticed it was not empty. Pein occupied space in the room and Tobi closed the door behind us.

"Drop the henge Itachi."

"Kai." I whispered, feeling no real change in myself. I tentatively found a chair, it was round and plush. I felt nervous, but I knew better than to ask questions. I had expected him to begin lashing out at me, perhaps break my fingers. But no.

"Sasori and Deidara will be accompanying us no further. We attract too much suspicion in a large group. We must change our identities again. They will meet with us on the way back."

"Yes sir."

"Deidara and Sasori will be travelling to the west tomorrow; it is a chance to throw off the hunter-nins."

"Hunter-nins?" I choked out. Shit, we didn't stand much of a chance. Pein could defend himself, I was useless.

"Hai, we leave when the moon is highest in the sky tonight, be ready. Do not leave this room until then."

"Of course Leader-sama."

Pein got up to leave, yet no one was yet to make acknowledgement to Tobi, who currently still stood by the door, not making any movements to leave.

_Great, I'm hallucinating. _

"You're not hallucinating." A voice said. It could have only come from one person, and this was most indefinitely not Tobi's voice. Pein had not seen him; Pein was far stronger than I. It was clear that this was not Tobi, Tobi was strong nonetheless, but his aura had changed.

"Tobi?"

"Come now Itachi, I thought you were smarter than this." I could plainly hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice, the arrogance and clear commanding tone to it. I could almost swear I'd heard it before.

But I could not put a name to the elusive voice, who was this man? Tobi had always been odd. It was clear he had a split personality, but perhaps it was voluntary, not mental as it was with Zetsu.

"Who are you?"

"It saddens me that my own protégé does not recognise me, Uchiha Itachi."

During my childhood, I had been subjected to many bouts of violent training, many from my father. I'd only ever had one teacher, he was a strange man, but in the company of my father he was normal. When he was training me, he was insane. The training had been so horrid; I still struggled to recall the details. But I remembered his name quite clearly. He introduced himself to others as 'Hiro-sensei' but in training he was far different, he called himself something different.

"Mandara." I whispered.

It made sense to me now. I'd never bothered to worry at that age about names and what seemed to be coincidences. For one, Mandara had never looked like _the _first Uchiha that shared his name. I had been built and moulded to a perfect machine, yet my mind was still much like a child, barely open to what was about me. Yet he had possessed a most powerful sharingan, and no one knew of him at all. Just Hiro-sensei.

It certainly bothered me that he had made an appearance in my life again. What was he after?

"See, you do remember me." There was no noise or movement as the man sat where Pein had sat moments before. "You will listen to me."

This was a most unsettling encounter. Tobi had been dangerous in the first place, he could snap a mans neck from the other side of the room without batting an eyelid. Mandara intimidated me; his presence brought back constant memories of that dark dank basement where he had attacked me with sheer extreme power scores of times.

"Tea?"

And he was acting ever so casually, pouring himself tea; I could smell the water mingling with the tea leaves. The man that had attempted to kill me frequently as a child, the man who had been responsible for my fighting abilities, was asking to drink tea with me.

It was also this man that had caused all my pain and suffering. He had been responsible for my twisted interior yet perfect exterior. Yet against this man I did not stand a chance in a fight, he would blow me up just by batting an eyelid or twitching his finger.

This man was Uchiha Mandara, _the_ first Uchiha.

This man I hated with every inch of my being.

* * *

Yet it was this man that was making me an offer that I couldn't resist. The overwhelming anger was now irrelevant. This offer I could not refuse. This offer was too good to be true. Nothing in this life was free, he wanted something.

"W…What do you want in return?" I was elated yet uncomfortably nervous.

"Not much."

He was holding back. I knew it.

"Tell me."

"I want the next born Uchiha." My heart plummeted so low, yet I felt as if my heart was in my throat too. "I want your nephew."

"But -"

"Who needs family when you can have power? Surely you already know that Itachi."

_What was one more reason to hate myself?_

* * *

A/N: Expect updates soon. Sorry for the crappy cliff hanger, this ending was a little rushed; you all could see the Mandara issue coming from a mile away, ne? Feedback is greatly accepted! Apologies for any spelling mistakes, I've yet to find a beta. If you'd like to be my beta, PM me.

- Narkness


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